Summary

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
– Aristotle, Greek Philosopher (384 – 322 BC)

Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a marriage relationship from getting stale. Keeping the butterflies of early romance from quickly fluttering away after marriage is a desire shared by both the husband and wife. So how do guys just like you, keep their marriages from slipping into familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment – Date Night!

Objective

The objective is for the Fathers Team member to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship by focusing on “Date Night” with their wife.
As background, most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. However, marriage studies, real-world experiments and even brain-scan data, scientists & therapists can now offer long-married couples a simple prescription for rekindling the romantic love that brought them together in the first place. Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy.
Fun date night ideas are a great way to help blossom a marriage by doing things you both enjoy. There are so many places to go and things to do – so, go play! Fun date ideas are the best way to get closer as a couple. Your wife wants to see your creative, playful side and when you put your own thoughts and effort into it, you’ll be surprised how well she will respond to your romantic date idea simply because the date idea came from you. And don’t be shy, if you are aiming to surprise your wife, don’t be afraid to ask her preferences so you can create fun date ideas that both of you will enjoy.

The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant together or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking a hot air balloon ride together or riding horseback through a vineyard, then having a secluded wine & cheese picnic.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5

The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

2. Proverbs 18:22

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

Small Group Questions

1. What is the best “date night” that you have had with your wife so far?

2. What was the novelty in the “date night” that excited her?

3. Review the list of 100 Great Date nights, which one will you try with your wife in the next week?

Accountability

1. Share your plans for the “first date” this week with your small team (from the 100 Great Date Nights list or other)

2. Share with your small team next week how the date night went, what was the novelty in it for you and your wife?

3. Plan out the next 10 date nights with your wife, and then go on the dates! Share with the small team after 90 days.

Included Resources

100 Fun Date Night Ideas & Activities

“mix and match” to make your date night a unique novel experience

1. Go get pampered or have massages together at a local day spa

2. Go schooner sailing at sunset

3. Take a Segway Tour through out a park

4. Reserve a spot on a yacht party cruise

5. Try your hand at indoor rock climbing

6. Go on a kayaking adventure tour – sight see from a kayak or canoe

7. Take an archery class together

8. Try skydiving, take lessons or try a tandem jump

9. Go on a harbor excursion – watch marine life or go whale or dolphin watching

10. Take a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride thru the city

11. Day adventure to any beautiful garden-park or arboretum, together

12. Enjoy a secluded beach and swim and/or enjoy the sun, together

13. Take a winery tour, or vineyard/winery tour on horseback if possible

14. Rent canoe, kayak or paddle boat and have a floating picnic on a lake

15. Go river rafting or inter tubing on a creek, river or lake

16. Go camping together

17. Become restaurant critics, find the most romantic restaurant by trying ones you haven’t

18. Go to the zoo and/or aquarium

19. See a play at the local suburb theater or at the High School

20. Hang out at a high-class cocktail lounge or restaurant, request a song from a piano man

21. Book an experience activity such as driving a real race car together

22. Take a Hot Air Balloon ride

23. Go Para-sailing together

24. Make your own wine, beer or root beer together

25. Take your dog(s) to the local dog park

26. Go fishing, or teach each other how to fish

27. Take a romantic walking tour of your city – pretend to be a tourist for a day

28. Spend the day with binoculars and a camera and go bird watching

29. Visit a U-Pick farm and pick fruit together, make sure you feed each other the samples!

30. Go Ice Skating together, and then warm up together!

31. Go to a baseball game, football game or Basketball game.

32. Tour new homes together

33. Learn to scuba dive together

34. Go on a haunted ghost tour together

35. See a local jazz band, concert, or orchestra in Cincinnati

36. Make it a romantic mission to ride a Ferris wheel together, kissing each other at the top!

37. Take a romantic afternoon walk or picnic at a park together

38. Go on a hiking trip together

39. Go to your local bookstore to pick out a surprise book for each other

40. Take turns reading a book to each other

41. Relive and go to the first place you ever went out together

42. Go shopping for new clothes, pick out clothes for each other

43. Go to a local gym to exercise together or to join together

44. Go tanning at a salon together and then go get pedicures

45. Spring time walk to pick wildflowers together

46. Go on an afternoon sightseeing drive and explore places you haven’t seen before

47. Spend the morning going to local garage sales to go treasure hunting

48. Visit an old cemetery

49. A date to have ice-cream together, make sure you feed each other a few bites

50. Window shop at local antique shops

51. Go moonlight bowling

52. A date to a karaoke bar for some singing (or watch others sing)

53. A roller-blade or roller skating date

54. A date to take pictures of each other

55. Go to a supermarket to pick out a meal and then back home to cook it, together

56. A date to wash and wax your cars together, make sure you spray each other with the hose!

57. Spend an evening to write poems for each other

58. A date to roast marshmallows over a campfire or fire pit in the back yard

59. Park near the airport to watch planes take off – feel the thunder of the planes –dream of your next trip together

60. Go to a park and star watch together

61. Bake cookies, make popcorn and watch a scary movie at midnight

62. A date to wash each other’s hair and then give back rubs to each other

63. Have a shaving cream fight and pillow fight

64. Go dancing or take dancing lessons together

65. Take a scenic drive in a rented convertible, or your own sports car

66. Schedule a dinner cruise on a train or boat

67. Take a charter fishing trip or whale watching tour

68. Go skiing or hang out around the snow, at the lodge

69. Visit a town or city you’ve never been to

70. Play a round at a fancy golf course

71. Take a helicopter or airplane site seeing tour together

72. Go visit the art gallery or art museum together

73. Go to the beach and build a sand castle together

74. Rent a limo and drive nowhere in particular

75. Visit the planetarium or Museum Center

76. Play in the water at the Beach Water park

77. Learn a new game at a casino

78. Visit a wax museum or find the historical landmarks in your area

79. Play arcade games together or play games on your home console

80. Patio/deck picnic

81. Watch a meteor shower in the evening, with wine and snacks

82. Go on a ferry boat ride to nowhere in particular

83. Go to a classic car show

84. Play miniature golf

85. See a Broadway show together

86. Take a helicopter ride together

87. Go to a high school or college sports event

88. Go to a Roller Derby event

89. Visit a dog or horse race track, together

90. Play laser tag or paint ball tag

91. Go target shooting or go to a shooting range together

92. Make it a mission to ride as many roller coasters you can find

93. Go on a hay ride in the fall during the evening; remember to bring a blanket to snuggle under!

94. Watch the sunset. Just pick a scenic spot, grab a bottle of wine (or your favorite beverage) and enjoy!

95. Reminisce Together – Share journals, pictures, letters, home videos, etc.

96. Bake Dessert Together – cake decorating, banana split, sundae, berry or chocolate smoothies

97. Build a snowman or snowwomen together, then warm up with hot chocolate and a blanket

98. Ride go-carts or “bump m” cars at the carnival

99. Visit the pumpkin farm or Christmas Tree Farm and talk a long slow walk in the nearby woods

100. (Fill in your favorite Date Night Idea Here )

Summary

As a child’s independence is developed, mothers are often treated poorly by their offspring. This can be particularly difficult for moms. How do we, as fathers, act to support our wives during this time?

Objective

Each of us goes through a period in our teen years where we begin to establish our independence as an individual. This development of our independence often includes us abruptly distancing ourselves from those we have been very dependant on, most of all, our mothers. Talking back, ignoring, and ultimately condescension of our mothers provide a “safe test” of our ability to be independent, because mothers always “take us back.” We, as husbands and fathers, need to stay involved in this mother-child relationship. We need to let our child know that before their mother was their mother, she was our girlfriend, then our bride. We need to create a family environment that lets the child know that we love and support their mother, and expect them to do the same. With our wives, we must delicately manage the child’s growth and independence, while avoiding a breakdown in relationships.

Bible Readings

1. Sirach 3

Children, pay heed to a father’s right; do so that you may live. For the LORD sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons. He who honors his father atones for sins; he stores up riches who reveres his mother. He who honors his father is gladdened by children, and when he prays he is heard. He who reveres his father will live a long life; he obeys the LORD who brings comfort to his mother. He who fears the LORD honors his father, and serves his parents as rulers. In word and deed honor your father that his blessing may come upon you; For a father’s blessing gives a family firm roots, but a mother’s curse uproots the growing plant.

2. Luke 27-35

He came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law in regard to him, he took him into his arms and blessed God, saying: “Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel.” The child’s father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce) so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2217

As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. “Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Small Group Questions

1. How do you deal with issues of “respect” in your family?

2. Have you discussed with your wife how you will handle disrespect from children?

Recommended Resources

1. http://www.buzzle.com/articles/teaching-children-respect.html

2. http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/2008/04/12/10-tips-on-teaching-respect-to-children-you-cant-get-it-if-you-dont-give-it/

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T ….find out what it means to me! Aretha Franklin

Accountability

1. Talk to your wife about how you are or will handle respect issues. One parent handing out punishment and then asking the other for support after the fact can be challenging.

2. Demonstrate to your children that you and your wife are a “team.”

3. Referring to your wife as your “girlfriend” or “bride” changes the perspective of children being disrespectful of your wife….try it.

Author(s)

Reid Rooney / Kevin McDonough

Included Resources

http://www.teach-nology.com/tutorials/teaching/respect/

Respect- How to teach it and how to show it

by Steve McChesney

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect.

Keep in mind that respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know you want what’s best for them.

The best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is.

Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed.

A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.

Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.

How can you show respect to your child?

Be honest – If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize.

Be positive – Don’t embarrass, insult or make fun of your child. Compliment them.

Be Trusting – Let your child make choices and take responsibility.

Be fair – Listen to your child’s side of the story before reaching a conclusion.

Be polite – Use “please” and “thank you”. Knock before entering your child’s room.

Be reliable – Keep promises. Show your child that you mean what you say.

Be a good listener – Give your child your full attention.

Children learn from everything we say and do. Make sure that you are modeling respectful behavior. Some of things you can do are:

Obey laws – Follow rules. Be caring – Show concern for people, animals and the environment.

Avoid poor role models – When you see examples of disrespect, discuss them. (more)