Category Archives: Syllabus

Children: Respect & Discipline

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Summary

Excerpted from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy “…the moral philosophy of Immanuel Kant (1785, 1788, 1797) … Indeed, most contemporary discussions of respect for persons explicitly claim to rely on, develop, or challenge some aspect of Kant’s ethics. Central to Kant’s ethical theory is the claim that all persons are owed respect just because they are persons, that is, free rational beings. To be a person is to have a status and worth that is unlike that of any other kind of being: it is to be an end in itself with dignity. And the only response that is appropriate to such a being is respect. Respect (that is, moral recognition respect) is the acknowledgment in attitude and conduct of the dignity of persons as ends in themselves. Respect for such beings is not only appropriate but also morally and unconditionally required: the status and worth of person is such that they must always be respected.”

Emmanuel Kant, the eighteenth century philosopher sounds quite Catholic in his views. Of course neither did he give, nor should we expect any modern day philosopher to, credit Jesus Christ who over 2000 years prior taught us of the dignity of and our responsibility to respect the human person. Why is it today that respect seems to be an endangered act or concept? The respect for and dignity of human life is no longer universally accepted but subject to personal whims, circumstances and opinion. Respect for the elderly is becoming a public debate issue. The Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist is respected and believed by only 30% of self-described Catholics. Police officers, the justice system, and authority in general is often disrespected in today’s society. And parents and grandparents many times are not given due respect, whether in a specific instance or more generally, by their children and/or grandchildren.

Objective

God gave each of us the unique gifts of free will and of reason. Thus we have the freedom to choose good or evil, right or wrong, and wise or unwise, and respect or dis-respect. Thus, disciplining our children is the process or act of “educating them in the right use of their reason and freedom” as said so elegantly in Catechism paragraph 2228. And so the question is, how do we educate and/or discipline our children first to respect and then to obey out of respect for our requests of them? And/or, if you already have some issue where your children/grandchildren do not appropriately respect you or your wife or another family member, what are some strategies to change or modify their understanding and their respect?

NOTE: In 2012/2013 the topic regarding Disciplining Your Children focused on methods of discipline used by men and their families in the Fathers Team. For 2013/2014 we re-use this topic and change the perspective from discipline methodologies to the perspective of discipline within the context of respect as discussed in the Catechism teachings that accompany this topic.

Bible Readings

1. Matthew 21; 28-32 – The Parable of the Two Sons.*

“What is your opinion? A man had two sons. He came to the first and said, ‘Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.’ He said in reply, ‘I will not,’ but afterwards he changed his mind and went. The man came to the other son and gave the same order. He said in reply, ‘Yes, sir,’ but did not go. ‘Which of the two did his father’s will?” They answered, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you. ‘When John came to you in the way of righteousness, you did not believe him; but tax collectors and prostitutes did. Yet even when you saw that, you did not later change your minds and believe him.’

2. Hebrews 12 7-11

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time at their pleasure, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2214

The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood; this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents. The respect of children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them. It is required by God’s commandment.

2. Paragraph 2215

Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. “With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?”

3. Paragraph 2216

Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. . . . When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.” “A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”

4. Paragraph 2228

Parents’ respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom.

Small Group Questions

1. Is there anything you can take home and use for child discipline in your family?

2. Have we strayed too far from common sense discipline to the new age – ‘let the child express themselves’ approach? Are we letting kids grow up without realistic boundaries?

3. How do you and your wife do in agreeing (ahead of time) on discipline approaches for the kids?

4. How does discipline change from toddler – to adolescent – to teenager?

5. Is positive discipline a possibility with a large family? Is it unrealistic?

Recommended Resources

All resources were found by internet searching and are not necessarily Catholic sources and/or may not necessarily conform to Catholic teachings.

1. http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/respect/

2. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201001/parenting-respect-starts-home

3. http://parenting.org/article/respect-0

4. http://www.catholic.net/index.php?option=dedestaca&id=479&grupo=Life++Family&canal=Family

5. http://daniellesteel.net/blog/2011/01/a-big-subject-mutual-respect-between-parents-and-adult-kids/

Accountability

1. Consider discussing an aspect of your relationship with your children where there has been in the past or where there is currently an issue with their respect toward you, your wife or toward another family member. What did you do about it and what was the outcome?

2. What will you and your wife do differently in the future to better transmit the importance of respect from your children or grandchildren?

Author(s)

Reid Rooney, updated 8/16/2013 by Andrew Schmitt

You & Your Wife – Differences in Spiritual Lives

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Summary

You and your wife invariably have different views on all sorts of things. What if one of these differences is how you practice your faith? Perhaps one of you is Catholic and one is not. Perhaps one of you is very active and engaged with your faith, and the other is not as much. You still have to make it work as a couple. If you have children, you have to make it work for them too. How do you handle this potentially sensitive topic?

Objective

Spiritual intimacy in marriage is about more than just spending time in God’s Word. It’s about learning how to connect with your spouse through your faith. Often times, couples say that they “can’t connect with their spouse” because they’re not in the same place spiritually. But, there are small things you can do as a couple to become more like-minded in your spiritual walk. Whether you and your wife are of different religions, or just varying “degrees” of Catholic, explore ways to more effectively relate to your wife regarding your faith(s).

Bible Readings

1. 1 Corinthian 7:12-14,16

12 To the rest I say: if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her; 13 and if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to go on living with her, she should not divorce her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother. Otherwise your children would be unclean, whereas in fact they are holy. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

2. 2 Peter 1:5-11

5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, 6 knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with devotion, 7 devotion with mutual affection, mutual affection with love. 8 If these are yours and increase in abundance, they will keep you from being idle or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 Anyone who lacks them is blind and shortsighted, forgetful of the cleansing of his past sins. 10 Therefore, brothers, be all the more eager to make your call and election firm, for, in doing so, you will never stumble. 11 For, in this way, entry into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ will be richly provided for you.

3. Luke 17:5-6

5 And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” 6 The Lord replied, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to [this] mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

4. Romans 1:14-17

14 To Greeks and non-Greeks alike, to the wise and the ignorant, I am under obligation; 15 that is why I am eager to preach the gospel also to you in Rome. 16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel. It is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: for Jew first, and then Greek. 17 For in it is revealed the righteousness of God from faith to faith; as it is written, “The one who is righteous by faith will live.”

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 1634

Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

2. Paragraph 1644

The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” They “are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.” This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.

3. Paragraph 818-819

818 “However, one cannot charge with the sin of the separation those who at present are born into these communities [that resulted from such separation] and in them are brought up in the faith of Christ, and the Catholic Church accepts them with respect and affection as brothers . . . . All who have been justified by faith in Baptism are incorporated into Christ; they therefore have a right to be called Christians, and with good reason are accepted as brothers in the Lord by the children of the Catholic Church.”

819 “Furthermore, many elements of sanctification and of truth” are found outside the visible confines of the Catholic Church: “the written Word of God; the life of grace; faith, hope, and charity, with the other interior gifts of the Holy Spirit, as well as visible elements.” Christ’s Spirit uses these Churches and ecclesial communities as means of salvation, whose power derives from the fullness of grace and truth that Christ has entrusted to the Catholic Church. All these blessings come from Christ and lead to him, and are in themselves calls to “Catholic unity.”

Small Group Questions

1. In what ways is your own faith journey a solitary experience? A communal experience?

2. Do you and your wife have different levels of commitment to your faith? If so, how have you handled this? How have you handled your children’s faith formation?

Recommended Resources

1. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/strengthening_your_marriage/spiritual_intimacy/blending_two_spiritual_lives.aspx

2. http://www.sandiego.edu/interchurch/religiousdifferences/religiousdiffedu.htm

3. http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/what-does-the-church-say-about-mixed-faith-marriage

4. http://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/Article.aspx?a=146

Accountability

1. If your wife and you are not “on the same page”, set aside some time to discuss this topic. The following are sample questions:

a. How important to each of us is our own religious faith?

b. How involved in religion do we want our child to be?

c. How involved does each of us want to be in our child’s religious formation?

2. Related to the above, write down a list of the five most important religious or spiritual beliefs that you have in common with your wife. After each of you have composed your lists, share them with one another. How are the lists similar or different? Are there any surprises? If so, why?

Author(s)

Steve Frazer

Included Resources

1. FAITH AND MARRIAGE — WHEN SPOUSES HAVE DIFFERENT BELIEFS
BY: DONNA ERICKSON COUCH, M.A.
http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/EDC/preview.aspx?id=231

After the romantic dust of my marriage settled, the fundamental questions of life surfaced dramatically when my closest friend was killed in a car accident. As I grappled with grief, my husband, Dana, comforted me as best he could. When I talked, however, about my need for God and church (I had drifted away from my Catholic faith), he was silent. Eventually he told me that, while he didn’t mind if I wanted religion again, he would not participate.

About 10 years into our marriage, I not only forged my way back to my faith alone, but also embarked on a spiritual quest that changed my life. Through years of confusion and struggle, I prayed and suffered in silence as I tried to reconcile my simultaneous love for God and for my nonparticipant husband. I worried about my role in Dana’s salvation and agonized over how to raise our children in the faith by myself.

Nagging questions plagued me: Why had this happened? Would God come between us? Was there anyone else like me in the community? Many years passed until, with the help of my studies in faith development, interpersonal communication and mysticism, I finally made peace with the uncertainties. These rather different topics resonated with me at an opportune time, and I received four transformative insights:

1. After a few years married, it’s common to experience a spiritual awakening.

The richness of Catholicism often doesn’t resonate until long after the wedding day. Upon completion of Confirmation class or during college, many churchgoers drift away from their practice of the faith. When thoughts turn to marriage, faith is frequently downplayed or discarded by those with limited adolescent or childhood views of faith. We may allow the naïve presumption that “love is all you need” to prevail. Religious practice becomes low or sometimes not even on the priority list.

Later, perhaps after a child or two, it’s common to experience an awakening, a need for God and community again. Frequently, those who return are surprised to discover a treasury of meaning in their original faith. Along with the elation of this breakthrough, however, may linger thoughts about the negative effects this may have on significant relationships. Does God come between people?

2. Authentic spirituality isn’t divisive.

As my inner life grew and I couldn’t share it with Dana, I felt an increasing distance developing between us. When I tried to describe my feelings to a friend, he quoted me the words of Jesus, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword….and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household” (Matthew 10:34-36).

Though discouraged, I nonetheless pressed on and, with the help of prayer and a spiritual director, found deeper meaning in this biblical passage. I learned that, even though the incompatible beliefs we hold about God can indeed feel insurmountable, time and maturity quell the fear. Like with marriage, when we commit to God for the long haul, it’s natural to experience times of tension.

Perseverance matters most when it comes to love and provides the backbone of authentic spirituality. This awareness led to yet another related insight: All expressions of love are expressions of divine love. As our capacity for God’s love increases, so does our ability to love others. Paradoxically, my deep love for God empowered me to love Dana on an even deeper level. In the end, the “sword” of God’s love actually keeps us together.

3. The inner journey is a solitary journey into God.

In another Scripture passage, Jesus says that there is no marriage in heaven (Mark 12:25). This was in response to the Pharisees when they questioned him about the eternal consequences of multiple marriages.

If we can imagine this concept as a blueprint for the spiritual journey, an important insight is revealed: While there are many companions on the outer journey, no one may walk the inner path with us. While we can try to describe our personal relationships with God, no one else—not even those to whom we are wed—may share those experiences completely.

God calls each of us into a type of “mystical marriage” which demands that we forsake all others. No one escapes the rigors of the solitary inner journey. Those of us who walk in faith without our spouses have the opportunity of learning this sooner and in a slightly different way.

4. All relationships are mirrors of the divine relationship.

Admittedly, we have a need to share what is deep inside and we long for someone to understand our zeal for God. Fortunately, an “inner landscape” reverberates throughout creation and is communicated through the many people we call friends and intimates. All of our relationships, not just with those who share our faith walk, teach us about God.

Can we see and hear the divine in everyone? Equipped with a bigger vision, we can welcome the challenges of living with those who, without words, can teach us about the subtleties and whispers of God’s presence. Meanwhile, spiritual directors and friends can help us process the complexities of relationship with God. Frequently, others serve this need better than the ones with whom we live.

If you find yourself in the middle of a spiritual awakening, while simultaneously married to someone not on the same page, you can take heart. The challenge of living an intentional, God-centered life provides an opportunity to experience what it means to fall in love again and again—with your spouse, your faith and the beloved Holy One.

When God means something different to your spouse, it’s not the end of the world but rather the starting point for a profound encounter with love’s sacred mysteries.

What advice do you have for an “unequally yoked” marriage?

http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/25920/~/what-advice-do-you-have-for-an-%22unequally-yoked%22-marriage%3F

Here are a few principles to keep in mind as you face the daily challenge of living with a mate who doesn’t share your deepest spiritual commitments:

1) Be patient. Try to remember that God loves your spouse even more than you do. He may be taking your partner on a spiritual journey that you know nothing about. He may choose to use you in the process, but He doesn’t need your help. So don’t play the role of the Holy Spirit. Stay in prayer and trust the Lord to do what He wants to do.

2) Don’t stand in the way. While perfection isn’t possible or even necessary, your behavior can attract or repel your spouse where spiritual things are concerned. You’re living out what you’re experiencing with God. Is it appealing? Is your relationship with Christ making you a more enjoyable person to live with – or just a more religious one?

3) Be authentic. You should not only share your faith with your spouse, but your concerns as well. In other words, don’t be afraid to reveal your personal weaknesses. It would be hypocritical to pretend that you’re not worried when you really are, or that you don’t have doubts when you really do. Your transparency can be especially healing if your mate has felt – accurately or not – that spirituality has become a competition in your marriage. The spouse who struggles with faith issues needs a “safe” and gentle partner to come home to. A holier-than-thou approach is sure to deepen the divide – not only between your partner and yourself, but also between your partner and God.

4) Stay balanced. There’s no doubt about the importance of faith. But it’s possible to lose a healthy perspective when you’re worried about your spouse’s spiritual welfare. You can’t be too devoted to Christ, but overspiritualization and hyper-religiosity will hurt your efforts as much as falling into the opposite error of apathy.

5) Examine the reasons. Take time to explore and understand the underlying reasons for your spouse’s skepticism. What was his religious experience as a child? Was his faith nurtured or hindered? Was his parents’ faith real and meaningful or a hypocritical chore? The Bible is clear: we’re not authorized to judge others (Matthew 7:1). Sometimes in marriage we’re prone to judge because of what we know – or think we know – about our spouses. Only God can see the individual heart.

Battling Addictions – Does God want to help you?

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Summary

You’re making progress, you slip, you feel bad about slipping – so you fall farther. You start thinking, “What’s the use after what I’ve done?” You give up and you maybe even end up worse off than when you began. That’s not just a blueprint for dieting disaster. It’s a blueprint for spiritual disaster.

I call it the Cycle of Shame. It’s one of the devil’s favorite tools for pulling a follower of Jesus down and keeping them down. You could be trapped in that Cycle of Shame even now. Or you’ve been there and you don’t want to go back there. You may have fallen, but you can get up!

Satan succeeds in keeping you down with that “what’s the use?” lie when you make a big mistake. You focus on you instead of the One who died so you could be free. The Bible doesn’t say, “The righteous man never falls.” It says in Proverbs, “Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again” (Proverbs 24:16 ). You don’t let one sin turn into a hundred sins. You get up right away and you pick up where you left off growing in Christ. You bring your sin and you bring your failure to Jesus.

Satan keeps pointing to your past because, well, it can’t be changed. Jesus keeps pointing to your future because it’s yet to be written. Yes, you went down, but you don’t have to stay down! Jesus stands ready this very minute to pick you up, dust you off, bandage your wounds, and help you start running for Him again; forgiven, restored, and stronger than you have ever been before.

http://www.hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-hard-times/when-you-ve-fallen-and-you-can-t-get-up-5992

Objective:

Provide real life examples of how God can help you battle your addictions. How God can help you find a sense of being loved. We have the will, we do not have the power. God is the Power if we ask him.

Bible Readings

1. Matthew ,7, 7-11

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 9Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, 10 or a snake when he asks for a fish? 11 If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him

2. Psalm 142

With my own voice I cry to the LORD; with my own voice I beseech the LORD. 3 Before him I pour out my complaint, tell of my distress in front of him. 4 When my spirit is faint within me, you know my path. As I go along this path, they have hidden a trap for me. 5 I look to my right hand to see that there is no one willing to acknowledge me. My escape has perished; no one cares for me. 6 I cry out to you, LORD, I say, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. 7Listen to my cry for help, for I am brought very low. Rescue me from my pursuers, for they are too strong for me. 8Lead my soul from prison, that I may give thanks to your name. Then the righteous shall gather around me because you have been good to me.

Catechism Readings

1. 220-221

“God’s love is “everlasting”: “For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you.” Through Jeremiah, God declares to his people, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

But St. John goes even further when he affirms that “God is love”: God’s very being is love. By sending his only Son and the Spirit of Love in the fullness of time, God has revealed his innermost secret: God himself is an eternal exchange of love, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and he has destined us to share in that exchange

Small Group Questions

1. Do you think that you need structure and discipline to start/continue your recovery? Why, or why not? What happens to children when they are not disciplined?

2. Do you get discouraged when you are no longer in control? How does the exercise of self-control give you staying power when you are in tough situations such as temptations or trials?

3. What can you do or have done to resist the influences of desires, bad traditions, and sin so you can become more responsible in your faith, serve and please God, strive for moral purity, and benefit others?

4. Our Lord Jesus Christ is the Lamb, the only effective and ultimate sacrifice for our sins. What does this mean to you? How can you reach out, grab His hand, and respond?

Recommended Resources

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201106/battling-addiction/blinded-biochemistry – Article that helps explain addictions. Summary quote comes from here.

http://www.discipleshiptools.org/apps/articles/default.asp?articleid=43689&columnid=4188

Accountability

Ask for help from God, a friend your wife, your priest. Ask for forgiveness for past transgressions and look forward. Small Group members are a good place to start, but you have to ask for help.

Dealing With Temptation and Lust

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Summary

Nobody will ever be perfect or attain sinlessness while still on this earth, yet it is still a goal for which we strive. The Bible makes a very strong statement regarding this in 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8, “God has called us to be holy, not to live impure lives. Anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human rules but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” If lust has not yet gripped your heart and mind, ready yourself through a life lived above reproach to combat the temptations of lust. If you currently struggle with lust, it is time to come clean before God and ask for His intervention in your life, so that holiness can be a mark of your life as well.

Lust is what occurs when our desire for intimacy becomes subordinate to physical desires. In essence, lust attempts to separate the physical from the spiritual — something that cannot be accomplished without spiritual ramifications. Lust creates an illusion of intimacy where there is none.

“The heart has become the battlefield between love and lust. The more lust dominates the heart, the less the heart experiences the nuptial meaning of the body…. The body remains an object of lust and, therefore as a “field of appropriation” of the other human being”

Pope John Paul II

Objective

Demonstrate how the Catholic Church and the Scriptures view the daily challenges of Temptation and Lust in hope of providing a clearer understanding of what faces us everyday as men, fathers and husbands. Shed light on how we can better arm ourselves for battle against these formidable opponents, not only with God’s help, but with help from our spiritual family as well.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Corinthians 10:13

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.

2. Matthew 26:41

Stay awake, and pray not to be put to the test. The spirit is willing enough, but human nature is weak.

3. 1 Peter 2:11

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

4. James 4:7

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

5. 1 Corinthians 7:2

But for fear of fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

6. Luke 8:11-15

Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. And they by the way side are they that hear; then the devil cometh, and taketh the word out of their heart, lest believing they should be saved. Now they upon the rock, are they who when they hear, receive the word with joy: and these have no roots; for they believe for a while, and in time of temptation, they fall away. And that which fell among thorns, are they who have heard, and going their way, are choked with the cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and yield no fruit. But that on the good ground, are they who in a good and perfect heart, hearing the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit in patience.

7. James 1:12-16

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.  Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2339

Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.126 “Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end.”127

2. Paragraph 2351

Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

3. Paragraph 2847

The Holy Spirit makes us discern between trials, which are necessary for the growth of the inner man,152 and temptation, which leads to sin and death.153 We must also discern between being tempted and consenting to temptation. Finally, discernment unmasks the lie of temptation, whose object appears to be good, a “delight to the eyes” and desirable,154 when in reality its fruit is death.

God does not want to impose the good, but wants free beings. . . . There is a certain usefulness to temptation. No one but God knows what our soul has received from him, not even we ourselves. But temptation reveals it in order to teach us to know ourselves, and in this way we discover our evil inclinations and are obliged to give thanks for the goods that temptation has revealed to us.155

4. Paragraph 2848

“Lead us not into temptation” implies a decision of the heart: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. . . . No one can serve two masters.”156 “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.”157 In this assent to the Holy Spirit the Father gives us strength. “No testing has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, so that you may be able to endure it.”158

5. Paragraph 2340

Whoever wants to remain faithful to his baptismal promises and resist temptations will want to adopt the means for doing so: self-knowledge, practice of an ascesis adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God’s commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, and fidelity to prayer. “Indeed it is through chastity that we are gathered together and led back to the unity from which we were fragmented into multiplicity.”128

Small Group Questions

1. Do you struggle with the opposing viewpoints on temptation held by society and the Church/your faith?

2. What are some of the items or situations that cause you temptation?

3. Do you read books or magazines or watch movies or visit websites that you would not tell your wife about?

4. Have you ever overcome a battle against temptation/lust; if yes, how did you deal with it?

5. Do you have friends or activities that encourage or keep you in situations of temptation?

Accountability

1. Pray a Rosary and/or Chaplet of Divine Mercy for yourself and/or others battling temptation and lust.

2. Pray for strength and God’s assistance

3. Rid your home and computer of any pornographic material.

4. Identify those areas of your life, those environments and people that cause you temptation and eliminate them or escape them.

Recommended Resources

1. Prayers Against Temptation
http://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/prayers-against-temptation.html

2. The Lamb’s Supper” – book by Dr. Scott Haun

3. Overcoming Temptations
http://www.catholicbible101.com/overcomingtemptations.htm

4. Fighting the Good Fight: Resisting Temptation http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=5143

5. Prayers For Purity
http://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/prayers-for-purity.html

6. Temptation –by Archbishop, Cardinal Henry Edward Manning http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=7066

7. Lust Kills the Soul
http://catholicexchange.com/lust-kills-the-soul/

Author

Graham Galloway

Included Resources

1. LUST VS. LOVE
http://lifeteen.com/lust-vs-love/

By Aaron Hostetter | MARCH 28, 2012

“What color are my eyes?”

Guys, have you ever heard that before from a girl? It’s the carefully laid trap by a girl who knows when she is being looked at in a lustful way. Gentlemen, it can only get worse from there. Contrary to what we might think, there isn’t an answer that will equal a “get out of jail free” card like in Monopoly. Even if you manage to mumble through her correct eye color, chances are she is still feeling hurt from your eyes only looking at her body instead of appreciating her as a person. It’s not only guys who struggle with this sin. Both guys and girls think that something as simple as checking a person out just for their “hot bod” isn’t a big deal. It is a big deal though, and any person can tell you they can feel the difference from when someone looks at them with love or with lust. It’s degrading. You can look at the 9th commandment and think; “Coveting my neighbor’s wife” doesn’t exactly apply to me…. Let’s take a deeper look at it and see precisely why it does apply to you.

IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says that, “Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

When Jesus said this, it was completely radical, because he revealed that lust (something that happens inside your heart) is a sin just as much as an external action. What we think with our minds and desire in our hearts is a big deal.

“For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. ‘The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness.” (Matthew 6:21-23)

At Mass on Sunday, we make a public confession and ask for forgiveness for not only our actions but for what goes on in the heart and mind:

“I confess to almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words”

LUST WOUNDS LOVE

When you lust after someone, either in physical actions or in thoughts, it wounds your ability to love and be loved. Lust is deliberately inflaming a sexual desire or temptation that naturally comes to you.

Pope John Paul II always said that loving is the opposite of using. Love requires sacrifice, responsibility and a total commitment to the other person. Jesus showed us the model referenced in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.”

A quick look at any crucifix will remind us how Christ loved the Church: by laying down his life! So when you reduce someone to an object for pleasure, it excludes God’s plan for love. Bishop Fulton Sheen once said that lust turns love into poison. Lust turns something that is designed to be given away (love) and turns it into something that’s only about “me” and what “I” can get from the other person.

Don’t confuse every lustful thought as a mortal sin. There’s a difference between thoughts that are brought on by ourselves and entertained and ones that pop up and are dismissed. Pray for help in the moment for Jesus to cleanse your mind of the image or thought!

BLESSED ARE THE PURE OF HEART (MATTHEW 5:8)

Just as looking at someone lustfully damages love and tears someone down, looking at someone lovingly affirms their dignity and can build them up. We have to untrain our eyes and hearts from lust and back to love. Purity in the heart is what we should strive for. God can clean the gunk built up in us through lust of the eyes and give us a heavenly vision.

“If, by love and right living, you wash off the filth that has become stuck to your heart, the divine beauty will shine forth in you. Think of iron, which at one moment is dark and tarnished and the next, once the rust has been scraped off, shines and glistens brightly in the sun. It is the same with the inner core of man, which the Lord calls the heart. It has been in damp and foul places and is covered in patches of rust; but once the rust has been scraped off, it will recover itself and once more resemble its ‘original design’ . And whoever is pure in heart is blessed because, seeing his own purity, he sees the ‘original designer’ reflected in the image” ~St. Gregory of Nyssa

Ask God to help you if you struggle with this sin. Here are some do’s and don’ts for the ninth commandment.

HOW TO OBEY THE NINTH COMMANDMENT

Don’t

Lust after another person, either in your thoughts or your actions. This damages your ability to love and be loved.

Look twice. A girl I knew once said, “I know my dad looks at other women. But he never looks twice.” Be the witness when people around you are undressing a person with their eyes. It could change hearts even if they never tell you.

Give up. It can seem like trying to stop a waterfall by cupping your hands under it, but purity is possible in the world today. It’s worth fighting for, and God’s grace is enough for us to do it!

Do

Men, turn lust into a blessing. Praise God for His masterful artistry when you see a beautiful woman, don’t praise yourself and turn it into a disordered lustful reality. Use your bodies to glorify God in whatever you do (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Build up and affirm brothers and sisters in Christ for modesty in dress, speech, and actions. It’s a battle to be pure and we need to hear encouragement in our walk.

Filter what you feed your heart and mind when it comes to tv shows and movies. Know what causes you to sin and get rid of it from your life. “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into hell” (Matthew 5:29).

Pray for your future spouse every day. Place your trust in God to prepare that person to be with you for the rest of your life/bring you to Heaven. Trust Him to prepare you, too!

Scripture to meditate on: Colossians 3:5, Matthew 5:8, Galatians 5:19-21, Matthew 15:19, 1 John 2:16, Ephesians 2:3, Galatians 5:16, Philipians 4:8, 1 Thessalonians 4:7

Catechism on the 9th Commandment: 2514-2527

2. Dealing With Temptation Talk
http://catholicyouthministry.com/dealing-with-temptation-talk/

Wisdom of the Saints:

“Sins that are easiest to amend bring the greatest punishment.” – St. John Chrysostom

“The devil tempts so that he may ruin, God tempts so that He may crown.” – St. Ambrose of Milan

“He did not say: you will not be troubled – you will not be tempted – you will not be distressed. But He said: You will not be overcome.” – St. Julian of Norwich

“No one sins by an act he cannot avoid.” – St. Augustine of Hippo

Relevant Points:

We must remember that God doesn’t set us up to fail and He doesn’t tempt us beyond our control (1 Cor 10:13).

We must change the way we view temptations – from burdens/trials to opportunities for growth/holiness.

Jesus was tempted, too. Go to Him. He knows what it’s like to be tempted.

God’s grace is enough (2 Cor. 12:9).

Temptations help us to understand ourselves and where our hearts truly are

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to identify those areas of your life, those environments and people, that cause you temptation and eliminate them or escape them. It’s not enough to overcome temptation if you repeatedly put yourself in its path.

The devil is not afraid of you, but he is petrified of Christ in you. Avail yourselves of the Sacraments and prayer and drench yourself in the life of Christ and His grace and the devil will flee from you (James 4:7).

How To Read The Bible?

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Summary

Reading the Bible can be intimidating and confusing.” What did the writers intend?” “Does my interpretation count?” “Is it literal or contextual?” Discover answers to these questions and get introduced to practical ways that you can incorporate the Bestseller of all time into your faith practice.

Objective

Since there is no single or right way to read the Bible, today’s presentation should focus on helping the men discover:

· Practical ways that they can begin incorporating scripture into their faith practice

· Steps and context to understanding what the writers intended. (see Included Resources #2)

· What reading plan fits their particular journey or comfort level.(see Included Resources #1)

· How to read the Bible in a year. (see Chronological Bible)

Bible Readings

1. Matthew 7:7

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you”.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 129

Christians therefore read the Old Testament in the light of Christ crucified and risen. Such typological reading discloses the inexhaustible content of the Old Testament; but it must not make us forget that the Old Testament retains its own intrinsic value as Revelation reaffirmed by our Lord himself. Besides, the New Testament has to be read in the light of the Old. Early Christian catechesis made constant use of the Old Testament. As an old saying put it, the New Testament lies hidden in the Old and the Old Testament is unveiled in the New.

2. Paragraphs 2654

The spiritual writers, paraphrasing Matthew 7:7, summarize in this way the dispositions of the heart nourished by the word of God in prayer “Seek in reading and you will find in meditating; knock in mental prayer and it will be opened to you by contemplation.”

Small Group Questions

1. What has worked for you? Not worked?

2. What has kept you from reading the Bible?

3. How can scripture enrich your understanding of God’s will for you? Humanity?

4. Do you consider the act of reading it to be a prayer?

Recommended Resources

1. http://www.catholicbible101.com/howtoreadthebible.htm

2. http://catholic-resources.org/Bible/Reading-Bible.htm

3. The One Year Chronological Bible

Accountability

1. Find an accountability partner and agree to read the Bible in 1 year

2. This week in mass pay specific attention to the readings and listen to how the homily ties them together

3. Intimidated? Pick a book and commit to start

Author(s)

Mitch West

Included Resources:

1.http://catholic-resources.org/Bible/Reading-Bible.htm

Since the Bible is not like most other books, simply starting at the beginning and trying to read all the way to the end (from Genesis to Revelation) is probably not the best way to proceed for most people. If you attempt this, you might find the books of Genesis and Exodus rather familiar and/or interesting, but you’ll probably get confused by Leviticus, may get bored plowing through Numbers, and might quit even before finishing Deuteronomy.

If you are a Christian, you might be tempted to skip the Old Testament and jump right into the Gospels. But this also is not the best approach, since you might be disturbed by the many discrepancies between the four Gospels, bewildered by the complex theology of Paul’s letters, confused by the imagery of Hebrews, and again quit before you get to the end of Revelation.

So how should you go about reading the Bible? No one plan is best for everyone, but different people might find various methods helpful, especially since each reader may have a vastly different goal (spiritual, academic, social, etc.) in reading the Bible. Thus, some people may choose to read short selections from the scriptures daily or weekly, following the Lectionary or liturgical cycle of their Church. Others might wish to follow a one-year plan (or a multi-year plan) for reading every book of the Old and New Testaments, but not necessarily in biblical order. Still others will want to read one biblical book at a time in depth, either on their own, or with the help of commentaries, or in a Bible Study group, or in an academic course.

By now there are many resources, both online and in print, which can help you read, pray, and/or study the Bible. This webpage is not intended to be comprehensive, but merely to provide some suggestions and resources, especially for your own spiritual nourishment or small prayer groups. Below is also an introduction to Lectio Divina, an ancient method of reading and praying with the scriptures that is being rediscovered today.

Plans for Choosing Which Biblical Texts to Read

1) Liturgical/Lectionary Approach:

· Many people find it good to read the short biblical selections that are used at daily and/or Sunday Mass, as found in the Lectionary for Mass.

o Readings for daily and Sunday Masses are available on the US Catholic Bishops’ website: http://www.usccb.org/bible/

· To help guide you, several Catholic publishers put out monthly and/or seasonal booklets with the liturgical readings, along with commentaries, prayers, and/or study aides:

o Give Us This Day – excellent new publication, begun Spring 2011, from The Liturgical Press

o Living with Christ – available in US and Canadian editions, from Novalis Press

o Magnificat Magazine – available in English, Spanish, and other languages

o The Word Among Us – daily meditations based on the Mass readings

o Workbook for Lectors… – available in US and Canadian editions, from LTP

o Bible Alive – published in Great Britain

o God’s Word Today – ended publication in June 2010

· Many liturgically-related resources are online:

o The Lectionary for Mass – a section of my website (http://catholic-resources.org/Lectionary) with seasonal overviews, comparative analyses, and other helpful resources.

o Catholic Scripture Study – brief weekly studies on the current liturgical readings; various other resources and helpful links; by Vince Contreras

· The American Bible Society also produces an annual Daily Bible Reading Guide, suggesting one short reading per day (partly following the liturgical calendar, but not always).

o It is available online or as a downloadable brochure; it is also available in Spanish

2) Canonical Approach:

· Some people want to read the whole Bible from beginning to end (from the Book of Genesis to the Book of Revelation).

o Such plans require reading thirty or more minutes each day, or one or more chapters each day, throughout the year.

· This is probably not the best method for beginners, since the Old Testament (OT) is so long and many parts of it are quite difficult;

o but it could be a good practice for people who are already familiar with much of the Bible, and wish to see how it all fits together.

· Various plans for reading the whole Bible in one or more years are available in print or online:

o Daily Scripture and Catechism Devotional – a downloadable brochure of a one-year plan that anyone can begin at any time, with four readings suggested for each day: two selections from the OT, one from the NT, and one from the Catechism of the Catholic Church; by the “Coming Home Network”

o How to Read the Bible Every Day: A Guide for Catholics – contains 1-year, 2-year, and 3-year plans; by Carmen Rojas (only in print, not online)

· Most other online reading plans and printed “One-Year Bibles” are based on Protestant editions of the Bible, which do not include the Deuterocanonical books considered canonical by Catholics and Orthodox Christians (for explanation of the differences, see my Comparative Chart of Various Editions of the Bible).

o The One-Year Bible OnLine – four readings suggested for each day: one each from the OT, the NT, the Psalsms, and the Proverbs (from Tyndale House Publishers)

o Zondervan Bible Reading Plan – suggests a variety of different “reading plans” for beginning, intermediate, and advanced readers of the Bible; see esp. their “Three-Track Plan”: Track 1 provides a brief introduction to the Bible; Track 2 covers a sample 186 chapters of the Bible; Track 3 is a three-year plan for reading the entire Bible (again, the Protestant OT, not including the Deuterocanonical books); some of this material is also online at ChristianBook.com

3) Christo-centric Approach:

· One could also read one biblical book at a time, but focusing on Jesus and seeing the relation of all the books to Jesus.

o Begin with one of the Gospels, for the basic story about Jesus (start with Mark, the oldest & shortest Gospel).

o Then read some NT letters, followed by another Gospel; then the Acts of the Apostles, and more NT letters; then also some OT books, to learn about the history, culture, and theology of the Jewish people.

· You may want to read OT or NT books around the time when they occur in the Lectionary for Mass (see above).

· There are many good published commentaries on each book or section  of the Bible, to help guide your study and reflection:

o New Collegeville Bible Commentary and Collegeville Bible Commentary series – by The Liturgical Press.

o Little Rock Scripture Study – by the Diocese of Little Rock, Arkansas, and The Liturgical Press.

o New Testament Message: A Biblical-Theological Commentary – older series, also by The Liturgical Press.

o Six Weeks with the Bible: Catholic Perspectives – by Loyola Press.

o Paulist Bible Study Program – successor to the “Denver Catholic Biblical School” series; from Paulist Press.

· There are also some good resources available online:

o St. Paul Center for Biblical Theology – free online courses and resources for studying the Bible

o Catholic Scripture Study International – provides several 30-week in-depth online courses, focusing on one biblical book at a time.

4) Thematic/Theological Approach:

· Reading portions of the Bible that are related to some theological, ethical, spiritual, liturgical, or other theme.

o For example, reading texts related to Jesus’ resurrection, or to an issue of social justice, or to Mary, etc.

· Various booklets and guides for finding biblical texts related to certain themes are available in print or online.

o Threshold Bible Study – thematic studies presented in short workbooks; from Twenty-third Publications.

o Scripture from Scratch – four-page flyers published 1993-2005; still available from St. Anthony Messenger Press.

o Interfaces – a series of short commentaries on certain biblical characters; from The Liturgical Press.

2. http://www.catholicbible101.com/howtoreadthebible.htm

There are 4 basic levels of scripture to understand: The literal sense, the allegorical sense, the moral sense, and the anagogical sense. 

· The literal sense is what most people stop at when they read the bible.  The literal sense when one reads about a temple in the bible is a big building where everyone went to worship. This is what the Pharisee thought that Jesus was talking about in John 2 when Jesus said “Destroy this temple and I will rebuild it in 3 days.” 

· However, Jesus was talking about the allegorical sense (how the text refers to Jesus) and the fact that His Body is the new Temple. 

· The moral sense of scripture is how the verse applies to us and our personal morality.  Since the bible says that our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 6, then we should not spend one second desecrating our temple by getting drunk, watching impure movies, having an abortion, cursing, etc.  The desecration of the temple is what started the whole Maccabean revolt in 1 Maccabees. 

· The last method, the anagogical sense, refers to the heavenly sense.  We know that after the second coming there will be a new heavenly temple (Revelation 21), and the old earth and all of its churches and temples will pass away. 

Do We Really Know Enough About Our Faith?

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Summary

We are Catholic Christians, but do we really know what that means? Can we explain what that means to others, or even ourselves? Can we defend our faith?

Objective

Explore what the Bible and Church say about defending the faith. It is the responsibility of each of us as practicing Catholics to be properly Catechized. Understand some techniques to increase your knowledge of your faith. Discuss the question of why be catholic. Be prepared to defend the faith, and answer our friends and family of other faiths with respect and humility.

Bible Readings

1. 1 Peter 3:15-16

15 “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, 16 but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame.”

2. Matthew 10:16-20

16 “Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves. 17 But beware of people, for they will hand you over to courts and scourge you in their synagogues, 18 and you will be led before governors and kings for my sake as a witness before them and the pagans. 19 When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say. You will be given at that moment what you are to say. 20 For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

3. Luke 12:8-9

8 “I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before others the Son of Man will acknowledge before the angels of God. 9 But whoever denies me before others will be denied before the angels of God.”

4. Matthew 28:18-20

18 Then Jesus approached and said to them, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age. “

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 186

From the beginning, the apostolic Church expressed and handed on her faith in brief formula normative for all. But already very early on, the Church also wanted to gather the essential elements of her faith into organic and articulated summaries, intended especially for candidates for Baptism:

This synthesis of faith was not made to accord with human opinions, but rather what was of the greatest importance was gathered from all the Scriptures, to present the one teaching of the faith in its entirety. And just as the mustard seed contains a great number of branches in a tiny grain, so too this summary of faith encompassed in a few words the whole knowledge of the true religion contained in the Old and the New Testaments.

2. Paragraph 95

“It is clear therefore that, in the supremely wise arrangement of God, sacred Tradition, Sacred Scripture and the Magisterium of the Church are so connected and associated that one of them cannot stand without the others. Working together, each in its own way, under the action of the one Holy Spirit, they all contribute effectively to the salvation of souls.”

3. Paragraph 856

“The missionary task implies a respectful dialogue with those who do not yet accept the Gospel. Believers can profit from this dialogue by learning to appreciate better “those elements of truth and grace which are found among peoples, and which are, as it were, a secret presence of God.” They proclaim the Good News to those who do not know it, in order to consolidate, complete, and raise up the truth and the goodness that God has distributed among men and nations, and to purify them from error and evil “for the glory of God, the confusion of the demon, and the happiness of man.”

Small Group Questions

1. How did you learn about your faith? How do you keep learning?

2. If you are Catholic, why? If not, why not?

3. What are some reasons to be Catholic?

4. Have you had to defend or shared your faith? If so, please explain.

Recommended Resources

1. https://www.ewtn.com/faith/teachings/index.htm (Teachings of the Catholic faith)

2. http://www.catholicscomehome.org/ (For Catholics and non-Catholics)

3. http://www.catholic.com/ (Catholic Answers website)

4. “A Pocket Guide to Catholic Apologetics” By Patrick Madrid, published by Our Sunday Visitor

Accountability

1. Spend some quiet time this week following up on the resources shared here.

2. Do at least one thing to increase you knowledge of the faith and what the church teaches such as listen to “Catholic Answers” from 6:00 PM – 8:00 PM on Sacred Heart Radio (EWTN Radio), or spend some time reading from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

3. Pray for opportunities and the gifts of the Holt Spirit to share and defend the faith.

Author(s)

Steve Frazer (updated from material from Michael Copfer and Tony Heekin)

Included Resources

1. “CHRISTIAN, YES… BUT WHY CATHOLIC?” By Rev. JOSEPH M. ESPER, This Rock Magazine October 1999 and at http://archive.catholic.com/thisrock/1999/9910fea1.asp

Summary of his 10 Reasons of Why to be Catholic (Description of each item is available at the link above):

(1) Only the Catholic Church can trace its roots back to Christ Himself.

(2) The Eucharist—the Real Presence of Christ—is not found in Protestant churches.

(3) Unlike other Christians, Catholics have a fully sacramental understanding of God’s saving activity.

(4) Because of the Church’s magisterium, Catholics have the assurance that their beliefs are divinely revealed truths, not human interpretations and opinions.

(5) The Catholic Church, more than any other, gives fitting honor to the Mother of God.

(6) More than any other Christian religion, Catholicism takes Scripture seriously.

(7) The Church has survived and even thrived for almost two thousand years, in spite of every form of persecution, opposition, and difficulty.

(8) Of all Christian religions, Catholicism has the most accurate and complete understanding of human nature.

(9) Catholicism reflects the nature of heaven more accurately than any other religion.

(10) Because it is rooted in, but also transcends, time and history, the Church is able to help its members discover and live by God’s unchanging truth.

2. Eight Good Reasons for Being Catholic by Richard Rohr, O.F.M., and Joseph Martos

http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0888.asp

Many of us who are older and who grew up in the Church before the Second Vatican Council never seriously faced the question, “Why be Catholic?” Not being Catholic was almost unthinkable for us, as unthinkable as not being American.

Yet today, many people are in fact asking the question, “Why be Catholic?” They ask that question when their parish liturgy becomes intolerably boring, when they disagree with the pope or bishops on social issues, when they divorce and remarry and are told that they can’t receive Communion. Often the question is, “Why remain Catholic?”

Following Vatican II, Catholics rightly rethought the narrow approach they had taken with the belief that outside the Church there is no salvation. They broadened the idea of salvation so that it could embrace God’s love for all Christians, and indeed all persons of good faith.

If good people of other religious persuasions can be saved, then why be—or remain—Catholic?

The answer is Catholicism’s rich 2,000-year tradition of living the gospel. And this tradition is a “wisdom tradition.” Unlike some of the younger Churches which sprang up after the Protestant Reformation and often splintered into further divisions, Catholicism has maintained unity and diversity over the course of 20 centuries. It embraces the wisdom of the ancient world, the Middle Ages and modern times.

We can summarize the wisdom of the Catholic tradition under eight headings. Each of these values represents not only a challenge but also a good reason for being Catholic.

1. An optimistic view of creation

There is an old poem that reads: “Wherever the Catholic sun does shine, There’s music, laughter and good red wine. At least, I’ve always found it so: Benedicamus Domino!”

The last line is Latin for “Let us bless the Lord!” And this poem captures a very basic Catholic sensibility: that creation is good. It represents God’s wisdom as God looked out on the world just after its creation and pronounced it “very good” (Genesis 1:31).

From time to time some Christians have not believed in the full goodness of creation. Early Gnostics and other “super-spiritual” groups felt that the material world was bad—but they were regarded as heretics by the majority of the Christians. In the Middle Ages some monks thought that sex was sinful—but the Church replied by affirming the sacramentality of marriage. A few centuries ago Catholic puritans (called Jansenists) condemned all worldliness and sensuality—but the Church officially rejected their teaching.

Many of us who come from northern European backgrounds (especially Irish and German) inherited this Jansenistic negativity anyway. Priests, nuns and others who shaped attitudes often portrayed sexual misconduct as the worst possible sin. As Americans we also adopted a good deal of puritanism from our Protestant neighbors. Our immigrant grandparents didn’t want to appear less moral than the people around them!

The older and larger Catholic tradition, however, has Mediterranean roots. Palestinians and Greeks, Italians and French, Spanish and Portuguese have generally been more comfortable with their bodies than northern Europeans. Peasants and poor people—most “Catholic countries” even today are poor—have always been among those who best appreciate the good things that nature has to offer. Food and drink, sex and children are the simple but most basic pleasures that life can give us. They are, after all, gifts from God intended for our enjoyment when wisely used.

This is why Catholicism is fundamentally sacramental. A sacrament is a sign of God’s goodness to us. Catholic wisdom says that the world and everything in it is a gift from God and a sign of God. The seven sacraments we celebrate in church use water and oil, bread and wine, and human touch as signs of God’s graciousness. Catholics see God shining through all of creation, and so they use the gifts of creation in their most important rituals. Thus Catholics are very comfortable bringing sculpture, painting, stained-glass windows, music, drama and other elements of the created world into their worship.

2. A universal vision

The original meaning of the word catholic is “universal.” The Church was first called catholic in ancient times after the entire Roman Empire had been converted to Christianity. The first universal Church council met in Nicaea in the year 325, and in similar councils the world’s bishops formulated the Church’s catholic faith. The summary of that worldwide faith is the Nicene Creed, which we say at Mass every Sunday.

The Catholic Church still has a worldwide faith, and the Church’s vision is still universal. Pope John Paul II travels every year to meet Catholics around the world. The Pope’s vision and the Church’s vision stretch beyond national boundaries. Wherever the pope goes he is greeted by Catholics—our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

The Catholic Church is not a national Church. It is one of the few truly international institutions in the world today. The Catholic Church is also a multicultural Church. It is not just European and American but also Latino and African and Asian. People of every race and culture embrace the Catholic faith and are embraced by the universal Church.

Because the Church is universal, it calls us to a universal vision. As the world gets smaller every year, we need to regard everyone in it as our neighbor. Our faith is already larger than most of us realize, challenging our narrowness and preparing us for global citizenship. The pastoral letters of the U.S. bishops on peacemaking and on economic justice seek to promote this global outlook.

If we are truly Catholic, we must look at the world and all people in it from God’s perspective, and not from a nationalistic or ethnocentric point of view. The Catholic vision, when fully lived, reflects God’s concern for the entire human family.

3. A holistic outlook

The Church has always been concerned with holiness. At times in the past people have equated holiness with becoming a plaster saint, aloof from others and abstracted from life. Today we realize that holiness is wholeness. And if we look at the Catholic past, we see that this wholeness has always been the ideal.

Catholicism has never said you need to be a secluded monk or a cloistered nun to be holy. When we look at the Church’s calendar of saints, we see fishermen and farmers, husbands and wives, rich and poor, soldiers and scholars, even kings and queens honored there. Everyone is called to achieve his/her fullest potential, to be a truly whole and holy person.

This holistic spirituality is very rewarding, but it is also very demanding. Catholic holiness is not a Jesus-and-me attitude. It’s not enough to go to Church on Sunday and leave the rest of your life unchanged. True holiness requires a conversion of the whole person, a transformation of the total personality, a concern for bodily as well as spiritual health, and a balance between prayer and action. This may require a conversion of our lifestyle, no matter where we live or what we do for a living.

4. Personal growth

The Catholic vision of human potential begins with conversion—a conversion that is ongoing. It sees life as a process of continuous conversion and growth. There is no one moment when a Catholic claims to be “saved,” as fundamentalists do. The stories of the saints show that they continuously strove for holiness. Even the Catholic devotion known as the Stations of the Cross suggests that the Christian life is a process, a journey that goes through stages, introducing us to different challenges, pitfalls and personalities along the way. Those who persevere in fidelity and trust enter more deeply into God’s life.

Fortunately, our salvation and our happiness do not depend on us alone. God is with us and lovingly takes the initiative in offering us salvation and calling us to holiness. This is the meaning of grace. Grace is God’s invitation and power reaching into us. But we have to open ourselves to God in order to be filled with the Spirit. We have to cooperate with grace.

Curiously, our cooperation is not so much a “doing” as a “not doing.” The wisdom of the saints is that they stopped long enough to listen to God in their hearts and let God tell them how to be truly happy. Growth in the Spirit, growth in spiritual perfection (as we used to call it), is the same as growing in Christ. It means surrendering our own shortsightedness about what we can be and entering into the process of becoming like Christ.

Paradoxically, personal fulfillment means abandoning ourselves and putting others first. In the Catholic tradition, ultimate satisfaction is promised to those who give up their desire for self-satisfaction. This is part of the meaning of crucifixion. The cross leads to resurrection, to new life. When we let go of ourselves, our lives become filled with grace. The lives of St. Francis of Assisi, Pope John XXIII and Mother Teresa of Calcutta radiate a grace that people of all religious traditions admire.

5. Social transformation

Society has been transformed again and again by Christianity. Jesus proclaimed the coming of God’s Kingdom, and the Church has tried again and again to make the Kingdom real. The Church has always been concerned for human betterment.

In ancient Rome the Church protested against gladiator fights and other forms of killing for sport. In the Middle Ages, prophetic voices in the Church were raised to defend the peasants against the tyranny of the nobles. Monasteries were the first hospitals for the sick and the first hotels for weary pilgrims. The Church has always cared for widows and orphans. It has fought against slavery, against the dehumanization of factory workers and against the exploitation of migrant laborers. In the 1960’s Catholics marched for civil rights, and today they march for the right to life in its many forms as well as for many other social causes.

This concern for the poor and the underprivileged springs directly from the Catholic understanding of holistic growth and universal salvation. God wants everyone to reach full potential as a human being created in God’s image. This means first having basic human needs met and then growing to full maturity in Christ through meeting the needs of others. The gospel is a message to be shared at every level of human life, and the good news is that God’s power is available to redeem the world.

Accepting the Catholic vision means never accepting things the way they are. People are always hurting and suffering oppression. People are always needing to be healed and set free. But to stop much of the pain and hurt, society itself has to be transformed. Being Catholic means standing with those social reformers who have always wanted to change the world, making it more like God’s Kingdom.

6. A communal spirit

To a great extent, we in America have lost the Catholic sense of community. Our large parishes are often very impersonal; at Sunday Mass most people feel more like an anonymous audience than a faith community.

The reason for this is that we Catholics have bought into the American myths of rugged individualism and middle-class success. We believe that we have to make it on our own and that, if we are successful, we should have our own separate houses , our own private cars, and all the appliances to live comfortably by ourselves.

This individualism and self-centeredness is disastrous for community. It is not the ideal taught us by our Catholic tradition. The Christian way of living is communitarian. Early Christians were so connected to one another that St. Paul called each community a “body of Christ.” When the Church grew larger, some Spirit-led Christians left the cities to live together in the countryside. They worked and prayed together in what were then called monasteries. Today we might call them Christian communes.

Monasteries were centers of Christian living all around Europe in the Middle Ages. In time, community-minded Christians discovered other ways of joining their lives together even in cities. Usually these communities focused on some apostolic work such as caring for the sick, the homeless or the uneducated. That’s the origin of today’s religious orders.

The peculiarly Catholic gift to the Church is community. Protestantism broke away from the tradition of monasteries and religious orders. This is not to say religious orders are the only way of achieving a communal spirit within the Catholic and Protestant traditions. Indeed, in many cases, Catholics can learn much from the degree of “fellowship” achieved in numerous Protestant communions. However, Catholic theology—if not always our practice—challenges us to see the Church as community.

Today, when many of our traditional orders have grown to institutional proportions, Catholics are searching for new forms of communal life. Many in religious orders are moving into smaller, more personal living arrangements. Prayer groups, spiritual movements and base communities are all attempts to revive this Catholic charism in a modern setting. In our individualistic society, there is a felt need for this gift of community.

7. A profound sense of history

The Catholic Church has been around for a long time—nearly 20 centuries. That’s four or five times the age of the oldest Protestant denominations, and 10 times as old as the United States. Belonging to a Church with that sort of history gives us a unique historical perspective. At least, it should!

Too often we as Americans live in the immediacy of the present. We forget that most of the problems we face today as individuals and as a society have been addressed by the Church for centuries and centuries. How quickly we forget that the English once were our enemies, as were the Germans and the Japanese even more recently. How quickly we forget the conversion of Russia some 1,000 years ago, and that the majority of people who live under communism are Christians. When we forget that most people who would be killed by our nuclear attack are our sisters and brothers in Christ, it is easy to picture them as our enemies. Yet our history shows that those who were once considered enemies can become friends.

In its 2,000 years, the Church has lived under kings and emperors, in democracies and dictatorships, under capitalism and communism. The Catholic perspective on history shows that we do not have to fear any political or economic system. The gospel can be lived in any place, at any time, under any conditions. Our strong sense of roots and continuity with a rich Catholic past is certainly a value to be cherished.

8. A respect for human knowledge

After philosophy (which dates back to pre-Christian times) the oldest intellectual discipline in the world is theology. Catholicism has never been a matter of blind faith. One of the earliest definitions of theology is “faith seeking understanding.” The Catholic ideal is to respect reason and promote understanding.

When barbarian tribes swept across Europe and caused the fall of the Roman Empire, monks carefully copied fragile manuscripts so that ancient science would not be lost. Even in the “Dark Ages” that bred the anti-intellectualism of the Inquisition, Christian scholars were founding schools which eventually became the great universities of Europe. Despite the obtuseness of the Church officials who condemned Galileo, modern science grew out of the efforts of Christians to understand the universe that God created.

St. Augustine tried to understand all of history from the perspective of Catholic faith. St. Thomas Aquinas studied all medieval science before writing his great Summa Theologica, a four-volume “summary” of theology. Other Catholic scholars advanced medicine, law, astronomy and biology. Catholics believe that if they are firmly grounded in their faith, they do not have to feel threatened by any scientific knowledge. Teilhard de Chardin integrated evolution into his Christian understanding of the cosmos.

This openness to human knowledge is not true of all Christians today. Some fundamentalists close their eyes against the evidence for evolution. Others insist so strongly on the truth of the Bible that they have little respect for what psychology and sociology can teach us. Some Catholics fall into this same trap regarding Church dogmas. But the broader Catholic wisdom is that all truth comes from God, whether it is revealed or discovered.

Our heritage points to Christ

To be truly Catholic therefore means to enter into the Catholic wisdom tradition. It means appreciating all of creation and looking at the world from a universal perspective. It means adopting a holistic outlook that encourages personal growth and social transformation. It means building community and learning from history. It means not being afraid to ask questions about faith, about the Church, or about the world in which we live.

Yet all this heritage is pointless unless it also points us to Christ, and to living the gospel. The reason for accepting the Catholic tradition is to learn better from our rich past how to live our faith more deeply today.

Mentor – Do you have one? Do you need one?

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Summary

Mentor – are they only for new employees? Have you ever wondered if you need a mentor? Or how you would go about getting one? Have you considered having a Board of Directors for you?

Objective

· Have you ever wondered how some people seem to have it all together – or anticipate things well? Do you ever wish for a person or persons that you can bounce ideas off, to get advice, or be someone who can listen to you?

· Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.

· “Mentoring” is a process that always involves communication and is relationship based, but its precise definition is elusive. One definition of the many that have been proposed, is

· Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development; mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience and a person who is perceived to have less. Mentoring in Europe has existed since at least Ancient Greek times. Since the 1970s it has spread in the United States of America mainly in training context and it has been described as “an innovation in American management”.

· Companies have mission statements and a Board of Directors. Your life is pretty important. Why not create a Life Board of Directors to help you through it? Pick 2 to 5 of your friends. Not necessarily your closest friends, but friends that are close enough where you can really confide but not so close that they can’t see the big picture. Email them one a month, once a quarter or “once a crisis.”

· Assemble “Team You” and use your team to brainstorm directions and implementations of big decisions like moving to New York, or changing your business’s direction, starting a new venture, or getting fit.

· Use your personal Board of Directors as one of the compasses in your life. You’ve got family, friends, perhaps faith, hobbies, values, etc. Add your Team to this list of personal compasses.

· In this discussion we encourage individuals who have had experience as a mentor – or if you’ve had a mentor to talk about the benefits you have received from the experience.

· We also want to discuss how to go about getting a mentor or being a mentor for those who are interested.

Some ideas:

Pick the right mentor.

First step is identifying someone who can be a good mentor for you. A mentor should be someone you respect and someone who’s respected by others.

Remember that mentoring can take many forms.

That relationship certainly can take the form of an ongoing one-on-one connection, but you can also have what she calls “mentoring episodes” — briefer interactions where you still learn something valuable.

Ask for advice.

Asking someone to be your mentor is tough. Instead, if there’s someone whose brain you really want to pick, or whom you’d like to develop a closer working relationship with, think of some specific things you want their advice on. Then ask them to get lunch or coffee with you to talk about them.

Set some guidelines beforehand.

When you’re entering into a mentoring relationship with someone, you should have a talk with them — not just about what you want to learn, but about how you want the relationship to go. Talk about confidentiality — will what you say to your mentor stay between the two of you, or will she or he be sharing it with other people? Discuss how you’ll handle any disagreements or problems that might come up. And make an agreement that if at any point the mentoring relationship ends, you’ll make sure to have a “good closure conversation” that allows you both to express appreciation, talk about what you learned, and move on.

Check in frequently.

Schedule regular check-ins to make sure everything in the relationship is going smoothly. Touch base with each other about whether you’re both getting your needs met — are you getting the advice you need? Are you being respectful enough of your mentee’s time?

With personal conversations, let the mentor set the tone.

Especially if you’re friendly with your mentor, you may be tempted to talk about your personal life with him or her, and even to ask advice about personal matters. Depending on your relationship, this could be totally fine — after all, Ragins points out, a mentor can also be a friend. But she advocates that you “let the mentor lead the way with respect to disclosure.”

Keep in touch if you switch jobs.

Remember that even if you leave your job, “no one’s going to make you give your mentor back.” If your mentor was a coworker, you might not see each other or talk as much as you once did. But you can still keep in touch by email and at networking events in your field, and you can still benefit from your mentor’s expertise. Consider than having one mentor at any given time, you should seek out multiple mentors, a “constellation of relationships” that give you the work wisdom you need.

Bible Readings

1. Ephesians – Chapter 6

And parents, never drive your children to resentment but bring them up with correction and advice inspired by the Lord.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2230

When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does not prevent them—quite the contrary—from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family. (1625)

Small Group Questions

1. Is there someone in your small group that has experienced a good mentoring relationship?

2. Can they talk about it?

3. Do you have a mentor?

4. Do you want one?

5. Father’s team members can be great potential mentors? Ask someone !

Recommended Resources

1. Your BOD – http://www.hanselman.com/blog/WhoIsOnYourLifesBoardOfDirectors.aspx

2. Mentor – how to get and maintain – http://jezebel.com/5864193/how-to-get-and-keep-a-mentor

Accountability

1. Considering being a mentor or getting one!

Author(s)

Rich DelCore

How do you go from being a parent to a mentor with your adult children?

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Summary

As our children get older, our interaction with them changes. No longer can our values and ideas be imprinted on them by virtue of being the parent. Can you remember when you left home? When you spread your wings? How did your parents react to you? As children age, they bring their own mindsets to the family relationship, life in general and beyond. This can be especially difficult if their values, ideas and mores tend be different, sometimes substantially different than yours. It may something as simple as moving out and leaving the area or as significant as having members of the opposite sex other moving in with the now adult child, to variation in life styles.

Objective

Typically, as a child moves into adulthood, their ideas and ways of doing things can and usually are substantially different than yours. As our children age, like we age, they change, like we change. It seems that a parent often moves more from the guiding hand on the shoulder to the dispenser of wisdom and information as to how the world really works. All too often, in trying to understand the adult child’s mentality and life, there can be alienation between the parent and the offspring. It is almost as if there is resentment for bringing up your values.

The challenge is how to still be a parent, with all of our values, and still be a mentor, parent and sometimes even a friend to your child when their values are different, sometimes dramatically different than yours. As parents, we have developed our value system over a period of time, and our now grown children, especially those out of college are starting to develop theirs.

There is an old joke about a young man talking about his father and remarking to a friend that when he was in high school, he thought his father might have been dumber than a box of rocks, but when the young man graduated from college, he was amazed at how much his father had learned. There may be a lot of truth in that old “saw”. From the sometimes rebellious years of high school, to the realization that a child has a vast amount of unlearned information, this seems like a good time to focus on what your values are. The most important thing is to let your adult child know that you are there for them and although you may disagree with some of the things they do, you are always the parent.

Bible Readings

1. Tobit 4: 5-6

Through all the days my son, keep the LORD in mind, and suppress every desire to sin or to break his commandments. Perform good works all the days of your life, and do not tread the paths of wrong doing. For if you are steadfast in your service, your good works will bring success, not only to you, but also to those who live uprightly.

2. Ephesians 6: 1- 4

Children, obey your parents [in the Lord], for this is right.a “Honor your father and mother.”b This is the first commandment with a promise, “that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.c

V. Conclusion

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2199

The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it.

This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern, all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.

2. Paragraph 2208   

The family should live in such a way that its members learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped, and the poor. There are many families who are at times incapable of providing this help. It devolves then on other persons, other families, and, in a subsidiary way, society to provide for their needs: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”12

Small Group Questions

1. Think back to a mentor that was helpful to you? Did he/she tell you what to do or listen and let you talk?

2. Do you model the type of behavior that you would like your children to have as they become older?

3. Do you have any family members that mentored you as you aged?

4. If your father is alive, how is your relation with him?

5. Could you talk to your father when you were young? How about now?

6. What do you wish you knew when you were younger that you know now? Can you give your children that information?

Recommended Resources

1. Life’s Little Instruction Book, H. Jackson Brown, 500+ suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a happy and rewarding life.

Accountability

1. This week would be a good time to start to talk to your child about life and responsibilities

Author(s)

Original: Jack Gauche/Bob Considine; Updated: Rich DelCore

Pornography

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Summary

A repeat subject and we will take a harsher stand this time.

Objective

What is porn and what are its effects? How do we resist the temptations and/or break the habit?

Pornography, long ago was found in the “dirty book store” or the “red light district” or the bad part of town. Today it is right in your living room, your bedroom, in living color and HD. It’s the age of technology, freedom of expression is king, morality is not cool. If Al Gore invented the Internet then his copilot was a guy named Beelzebub! The 21st Century scourge, the global, multi-billion dollar enterprise that entices, titillates, excites some, at the same time demeaning, enslaving and addicting. The Lion of Lust, the devil itself is winning the Game of Souls. Like an alcoholic, it starts with a sip and inevitably leads to a binge; it draws us in to a web of ever grosser debauchery. It knows no boundaries, it can sink its claws into man, woman, or child, atheist, Christian, layperson, religious, father, son, sister, husband. It temps us, entraps us, excites us, provides temporary relief , but then it slams us with compulsion, guilt, shame, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness and pain. Worse it can destroy relationships, families, and turns us away from God. For how could anyone, let alone God, forgive us for such depravity?

Gentleman, plain and simple, just as we have a War on Terror, a war is being waged against our spirit and it is called Lust and we are losing…one glimpse at a time.

Catechism Readings:

1. Paragraph 2396

Among the practices gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, and pornography.

2. Paragraph 2341

The virtue of chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance, which seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason.

3. Paragraph 2337

Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being.

4. Paragraph 2351

Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from the procreative and unitive purposes. Masturbation is sinful because it misuses the gift of sexuality in an inherently selfish act, devoid of love. It is a behavior problem whose causes are often habitual or in response to emotional stress or unexamined underlying attitudes. Pornography (sexually explicit material) has become even more available through the Internet. This presents real difficulties for both individuals and society, as viewing pornography is not only sinful in itself but can become an addiction and lead to dangerous exploitation of children as sex objects.

5. Paragraph 2354

Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public) since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profits for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

Bible Readings

1. Numbers 15:39

And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the Lord, to do them, not to follow your own heart and your eyes, which you are inclined to do.

2. Gal 5:16

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

3. 1Cor 6:18-20

Avoid immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the immoral person sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.

4. Rom 12:1-2

I urge you therefore, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.

5. 1Thes 4:7-8

For God did not call us to impurity but to holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, diregards not a human being but God, who gives his holy Spirit to you.

6. Gal 5:19-21

Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury,, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts,, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Small Group Questions

1. How do you avoid the temptations of lust?

2. How do you prepare your children to deal with the temptations of pornography?

3. What do you do if caught in this cycle of lust?

4. How do you pray to God for help?

Accountability

1. Pray in the morning when you wake and in the evening when you rest for God’s help in resisting temptation for that period. Do it every day, if you must.

2. Confession is crucial.

3. Surrender the problem to God, seek his help, you do not have to battle alone.

Recommended Resources

1. tobinstitute.org (Theology of the Body)

2. theravive.com (Christian Therapists)

3. sa.org (Seaholics Anonymous—12 Step Program, built off AA)

4. Sexaholics Anonymous Manual (The 12 Step Program)

5. pornnomore.com (Serenellians—An Apostolate of Hope for the Sexually Addicted)

6. virtusonline.com

7. sexualrecovery.org

8. sca-recovery.org

9. saa-recovery.org

10. slaafws.org

11. zachhunter.me (his book “Be the Change”)

12. saragroves.com (Musician)

13. ijm.org

14. itemp.org

15. truthminers.com

16. abolitioninternational.org

17. settingcaptivesfree.com

Included Resources

There is help whether you have the problem, are part of the problem or want to work on the recovery/solution.

Twenty Questions (sa.org)

1. Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior?

2. That you’d be better off if you didn’t keep “giving in”?

3. That sex or stimuli are controlling you?

4. Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong in your sexual behavior?

5. Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or because you can’t cope?

6. Do you feel guilt, remorse, or depression afterward?

7. Has your pursuit of sex become more compulsive?

8. Does it interfere with your relations with your spouse?

9. Do you have to resort to images or memories during sex?

10. Does an irresistible impulse arise when the other party makes the overtures or sex is offered?

11. Do you keep going from one relationship or lover to another?

12. Do you feel the right relationship would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being so promiscuous?

13. Do you have a destructive need—a desparate sexual or emotional need for someone?

14. Does pursuit of sex make you careless for yourself or or the welfare of your family or others?

15. Has your effectiveness or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive?

16. Do you lose time from work?

17. Do you turn to a lower environment when pursuing sex?

18. Do you want to get away from the sex partner as soon as possible after the act?

19. Although your spouse is sexually compatible, do you still masturbate or have sex with others?

20. Have you ever been arrested for a sex related offense?

The cure can be spiritual.

The Twelve Steps of Sexaholics Anonymous

We admitted we were powerless over lust—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry the message to sexaholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Author

Humbly, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in hope that the message will touch a chord with at least some, Charles Pfizenmayer

Prayer Life

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Summary

How do we develop a strong prayer life and does it really make a difference? What are the different prayer forms?

Objective:

“Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer each day, except when we are busy, then we need an hour.”…St Francis de Sales. At Mass when the reading of the Gospel begins, we place the sign of the cross on our foreheads, lips, and hearts and pray, “May the Lord be in our minds, on our lips, and in our hearts.” Lips, minds and hearts—these symbolize 3 kinds of prayer: vocal, meditative, and contemplative. These modes of prayer include formal and informal paths, personal and communal expressions, popular piety, and the liturgical prayer of the Church.

Vocal prayer, founded on the union of body and soul in human nature, associates the body with the interior prayer of the heart, following Christ’s example of praying to His Father and teaching the Our Father to His disciples.

In meditative prayer, we use our minds to ponder the will of God in His plan for our lives. What doe God ask of us—aids for this are in Scripture, the holy Gospels, holy icons, liturgical texts of the day, and writings of the Spiritual Fathers and Mothers. Varied methods include Lectio Divina of St Benedict, the radical simplicity of Franciscan spirituality and the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. Meditation engages thought, imagination, emotion, and desire.

Contemplative prayer involves hearing and obeying God’s Word. It is a time of silent listening and love. Emptying oneself not for its own sake, but for the sake of being filled with God and entering into a deeper relationship with Him.

Bible Readings

1. Eph 6:18.

With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit. To that end, be watchful with all perseverance and supplication for all the holy ones.

2. Phil 4:6.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.

3. 1Thes 5:17-18.

Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thank, for all is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

4. 1Jn 5:14.

And we have this confidence in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

5. Mt 7:7

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish. If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask Him.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2707

There are as many and varied methods of meditation as there are spiritual masters. Christians owe it to themselves to develop the desire to meditate regularly, lest they come to resemble the three first kinds of soil in the parable of the sower.5 But a method is only a guide; the important thing is to advance, with the Holy Spirit, along the one way of prayer: Christ Jesus.

2. Paragraph 2724

Contemplative prayer is the simple expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gaze of faith fixed on Jesus, an attentiveness to the Word of God, a silent love. It achieves real union with the prayer of Christ to the extent that it makes us share in his mystery.

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“You would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”9 Paradoxically our prayer of petition is a response to the plea of the living God: “They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water!”10 Prayer is the response of faith to the free promise of salvation and also a response of love to the thirst of the only Son of God.11

Small Group Questions

1. Where do you pray? Are there any limits?

2. Is prayer just about asking God for something?

3. Are our prayers answered? How would we know? Do we recognize that is God’s will be done and not ours?

4. Do we incorporate in our prayers gratitude and thankfulness to God?

5. How have you maintained a bond between prayer and an active Christian mission to others?

Included Resources

1. “I Shall Keep the Silence of My Heart” Mother Teresa I don’t think there is anyone who needs God’s help and grace as much as I do. SometimesI feel so helpless and so weak I think this is why God uses me. Because I cannot depend on my own strength. I rely on Him 24 hours a day. All of us must cling to God through prayer. My secret is simple. I pray. Through prayer I become one in love with Christ. I realize that praying to Him is loving Him we cannot find God in noise or agitation. Nature, trees, flowers and grass grow in silence. The stars, the moon, and the sun move in silence. He speaks to our souls. In silence we are granted the privilege of listening ti His voice….Silence of our eyes. Silence of our ears. Silence of our minds…..in the silence of the heart God will speak.

2. Mother Teresa……And when times come when we can’t pray, it is very simple; if Jesus is in my heart, let Him pray, let me allow Him to pray in me, to talk to His Father in the silence of my heart. Since I cannot speak—He will speak; since I cannot pray—He will pray.

3. Gandhi……I believe that prayer is the very soul and essence of religion, and therefore prayer must be the very core of this life of humanity, for no one can live without religion.

4. Gandhi……There is really only one prayer that we may offer, “Thy will be done.”

5. Madeleine Delbrel……Silence is the place where the Word of God dwells. We, the ordinary people of the streets, do not see solitude as the absence of the world, but as the presence of God.

6. Catherine de Hueck Doherty……God has given this day into our hands. This is the day in which we pray, but we pray by action and sweat, just as Christ did. He said He “came not to be served but to serve.” (Mt 20:28) He also said “Pray continually (Lk 18:1). Pray while you work and work while you pray.

7. Howard Thurman……First, we must learn to be quiet, to settle down in one spot for a spell. Sometime during each day, everything should stop and the art of being still must be practiced.

8. Cardinal Newman’s Prayer to Christ…… Lord Jesus, conceal Thyself not within me thus! Look, thou through my eyes, hear by my ears, speak by my mouth, walk with my feet! Lord may my poor human presence recall, at least distantly, thy divine presence.

9. Henri Nouwen…… Prayer is entering into communion with the one who molded our being in our mother’s womb with love and only love. There in that first love lies our true self, a self not made up of rejections and acceptances of those with whom we live, but solidly rooted in the one who called us into existence. In the house of God we were created. To that house we are called to return. Prayer is the act of returning…the act of prayer is the basis and source of all actions.

Accountability

1. Do some spiritual reading, it can invest your prayers with new meanings.

2. Find that quiet time in your day, anywhere and pray. Find that space in your home, your workplace, in Nature, where you can “be still” and practice.

3. Silence is prayer.

4. Don’t expect visions or voices in response to prayer, God works in many ways. The vision could simply be the sunset.

5. DARE to pray

6. D­o it every day

7. Ask where you need to be changed

8. Respond to what God is asking you

9. Expect great things

Author

Humbly with the support and readings of many spiritual fathers and mothers before me, Charles Pfizenmayer