Between the day you hold her in your arms on her birth-day and the day you share a dance at her wedding reception, your experiences with your daughter are sure to offer emotional peaks and valleys. The unique relationships of dads and daughters are a gift to be sure. How are you handling this “gift?”
We all want to have beautiful young daughters that blossom into capable and confident young women. Studies have shown that females grow from winsome little girls into vulnerable adolescents and to competent adults most consistently when there is the stability that a father’s love provides. Fathers must understand that daughters test boundaries just like sons and dads need to keep emotions in balance and offer tough love at times. Fathers need to bring consistent behavior demonstrating love, faith, and fairness that a daughter can rely on. Though there will be times that you will find yourself “talking to the hand” or getting the “quiet treatment” know that daughters go through phases of development and you thankfully have your wife as an invaluable and influential teammate in this nurturing journey. So it is usually best to hold the volume in check when discussions get heated, understand that sometimes you just have to accept that you are “not cool,” and be the dad that is always there when she needs you, as ultimately she will. In all likelihood the other man that your daughter will be dancing with at her wedding will have many of the characteristics you possess….and will also be crazy about her!
1. Ephesians 6 : 4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.
2. Timothy 1 Chapter 4 : 12
Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.
1. Paragraph 2199
The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it.
This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern, all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.
2. Paragraph 2200
Observing the fourth commandment brings its reward: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Respecting this commandment provides, along with spiritual fruits, temporal fruits of peace and prosperity. Conversely, failure to observe it brings great harm to communities and to individuals.
Small Group Questions
1. Where are you on the dad and daughter relationship journey?
2. What actions are you taking to nurture the relationship that you have with your daughter?
3. If you have a grown daughter, what do you wish you had done differently?
1. What are you doing this week to spend time with your daughter?
2. Have you written your daughter a letter lately?
3. Tell your daughter ……what it felt like when you broke-up with a girlfriend.
……what attracted you to your wife.
……what your hopes are for her.
Dealing with …
David Connors / Reid Rooney