Shared Dreams and Communications

August 20, 2012 under Syllabus 2012-2013

Summary

What are Dreams?

Remember when you were kids, young adults, and you could spend hours on the phone with your sweetheart talking about nothing in particular? Perhaps that was a form of dreaming.

But then we finished school, got married, bought a house, got a job, had children, etc. and started to do what we had to do every day. We became doers instead of dreamers. Perhaps we need to make time to dream again. Perhaps we need to take time to go beyond our daily routine. Perhaps it’s time for you and your wife to open/reopen these creative channels in your lives. These areas that take you beyond the everyday can be defined as “Dreams”.

Objective

To emphasize the importance of of making shared plans with your spouse. Before you know it you will be looking at an empty nest. Don’t wait until then to talk about your plans.

Bible Readings

1. Kings 3:5-15

“At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” Solomon answered… ‘Give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?’ The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.” Then Solomon awoke—and he realized it had been a dream.”

2. Luke 14:28-33

For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. …


Additional Information

Why are Dreams important to me and my wife?

What are your dreams? What are your wife’s dreams? If you don’t know the answer to these questions you have a great opportunity to know yourself and your wife better. Dreams are invisible but powerful. You cannot see them but they keep everything going. Your life may not be easier when you are actively dreaming, but it will be more exciting when you include your dreams in your daily routines.

The heart of every marriage is rooted in communications. When you and your wife have open communications your marriage has the fabric to be strong, happy, and exciting.

To paraphrase Matthew Kelly’s terminology, to be the best version of yourself, and to have the best version of your marriage, get beyond your daily routine. A great way to get beyond your daily routine is to tap into your individual and shared dreams.

So if we are looking for a great way to open additional doors for communications with our wives it seems sharing our dreams is made to order to do just that.

How do I share my dreams?

The first step to initiate sharing dreams with your wife is to get a Dream Book. This is a notebook dedicated to recording and following up on your individual and shared dreams.

Now that you have your Dream Book take some time to write your dreams in the book. You might find it easier to write individually at fires and then discuss your individual dreams. When it comes to your shared dreams, you will probably want to meet together to talk about your dreams as you record them. Organize your Dream Book to meet your needs as a couple.

The most important step is to write your dreams. The process of writing and sharing your dreams helps to make them real, and achievable. To help a new dreamer get started Matthew Kelly suggested these categories.

1. Physical 5. Psychological 9. Creative

2. Emotional 6. Material 10. Adventure

3. Intellectual 7. Professional 11. Legacy

4. Spiritual 8. Financial 12. Character

Remember, nothing is too wild or wonderful. There are no limitations.

Now that you are meeting with your wife, sharing your dreams; you’ll need to do some prioritization to help you focus on the dreams you agree are most important now. Be sure and schedule your next dreaming meeting as a part of each session.

The process of writing, discussing, and prioritizing your dreams will provide the additional communications SHARED DREAMS promised.

Our Dreams help make us great!

“Never underestimate the power of your dreams and the power of the human spirit.
The potential for greatness lives within each of us.”
– Wilma Rudolph (Olympic Gold Medalist)

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.”
– Anatole France

And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true…..
(You’ve Got Mail)

The dreams of people may differ, but everyone wants their dreams to come true.
Not everybody aspires to be a bank president or a nuclear scientist,
but everybody wants to do something with their life that will give them pride and a sense of accomplishment.
And America, above all places, gives us the freedom to do that.
We have the freedom to reach out and make our dreams come true.
– Ronald Reagan

“When you have a really great dream, get up and go for it.”
– Larry Page

“It’s never too late to accomplish your dreams.”
– Jim Morris (The Rookie)

“A person is not old until their regrets take the place of their dreams.”
–  John Barrymore

“When you write things down, they sometimes take you places you hadn’t planned.”
– Melanie Benjamin
Write down your dream, make your bucket list,
follow through.

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Dare to dream the impossible. Work your dreams into reality

“I once had a dream, or should I say, my dream once had me.” –
– Beatles

Here is a form that might help bring dreams to reality. Once you have a dream prioritized as important, you and your wife might take the time to complete this detailed plan.

Dream Detail

What do you want to accomplish? Be specific.

What is the schedule? Set a deadline.

What is the estimated cost?

What action steps do you need to take?

1-

2-

3-

4-

5-

To keep yourself on track remember, why is this relevant?

Small Group Questions

  1. Do you discuss your plans and dreams with your spouse on a regular basis?

Accountability

  1. The first step to initiate sharing dreams with your wife is to get a Dream Book. This is a notebook dedicated to recording and following up on your individual and shared dreams.

Author

Walt Moll & Tony Heekin

Recommended Resources

Reference: The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelly

http://www.simplemarriage.net/dream-together.html

http://www.goalsettingstrategies.com/goals_for_marriages.html

comments: Comments tags: , ,