Respect (my wife and) your mother

August 24, 2011 under Syllabus 2011-2012

Summary

As a child’s independence is developed, mothers are often treated poorly by their offspring. This can be particularly difficult for moms. How do we, as fathers, act to support our wives during this time?

Objective

Each of us goes through a period in our teen years where we begin to establish our independence as an individual. This development of our independence often includes us abruptly distancing ourselves from those we have been very dependant on, most of all, our mothers. Talking back, ignoring, and ultimately condescension of our mothers provide a “safe test” of our ability to be independent, because mothers always “take us back.” We, as husbands and fathers, need to stay involved in this mother-child relationship. We need to let our child know that before their mother was their mother, she was our girlfriend, then our bride. We need to create a family environment that lets the child know that we love and support their mother, and expect them to do the same. With our wives, we must delicately manage the child’s growth and independence, while avoiding a breakdown in relationships.

Bible Readings

1. Sirach 3

Children, pay heed to a father’s right; do so that you may live. For the LORD sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons. He who honors his father atones for sins; he stores up riches who reveres his mother. He who honors his father is gladdened by children, and when he prays he is heard. He who reveres his father will live a long life; he obeys the LORD who brings comfort to his mother. He who fears the LORD honors his father, and serves his parents as rulers. In word and deed honor your father that his blessing may come upon you; For a father’s blessing gives a family firm roots, but a mother’s curse uproots the growing plant.

2. Luke 27-35

He came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law in regard to him, he took him into his arms and blessed God, saying: “Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel.” The child’s father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce) so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2217

As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. “Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Small Group Questions

1. How do you deal with issues of “respect” in your family?

2. Have you discussed with your wife how you will handle disrespect from children?

Recommended Resources

1. http://www.buzzle.com/articles/teaching-children-respect.html

2. http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/2008/04/12/10-tips-on-teaching-respect-to-children-you-cant-get-it-if-you-dont-give-it/

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T ….find out what it means to me! Aretha Franklin

Accountability

1. Talk to your wife about how you are or will handle respect issues. One parent handing out punishment and then asking the other for support after the fact can be challenging.

2. Demonstrate to your children that you and your wife are a “team.”

3. Referring to your wife as your “girlfriend” or “bride” changes the perspective of children being disrespectful of your wife….try it.

Author(s)

Reid Rooney / Kevin McDonough

Included Resources

http://www.teach-nology.com/tutorials/teaching/respect/

Respect- How to teach it and how to show it

by Steve McChesney

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect.

Keep in mind that respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. If they respect you, they will obey because they know you want what’s best for them.

The best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is.

Keep in mind the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it’s almost impossible for them to succeed.

A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.

Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else.

How can you show respect to your child?

Be honest – If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize.

Be positive – Don’t embarrass, insult or make fun of your child. Compliment them.

Be Trusting – Let your child make choices and take responsibility.

Be fair – Listen to your child’s side of the story before reaching a conclusion.

Be polite – Use “please” and “thank you”. Knock before entering your child’s room.

Be reliable – Keep promises. Show your child that you mean what you say.

Be a good listener – Give your child your full attention.

Children learn from everything we say and do. Make sure that you are modeling respectful behavior. Some of things you can do are:

Obey laws – Follow rules. Be caring – Show concern for people, animals and the environment.

Avoid poor role models – When you see examples of disrespect, discuss them. (more)

comments: Comments tags:

Pornography – The Drug of the New Millennium

August 24, 2011 under Syllabus 2011-2012

Summary

Imagine a drug so powerful it can destroy a family simply by distorting a man’s perception of his wife. Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages – Pornography, the drug of the new millennium.

Objective

The Objective is present the church’s position on pornography as stated in the Catechism. This position is backed-up by modern scientific studies, which says that it is enslaving people similar to drugs and ruining marriages.

Bible Readings

1. Mathew 5: 27-29

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.

2. Wisdom 15:1-6

But thou, our God, art kind and true, patient, and ruling all things in mercy. For even if we sin we are thine, knowing thy power; but we will not sin, because we know that we are accounted thine. For to know thee is complete righteousness, and to know thy power is the root of immortality. For neither has the evil intent of human art misled us, nor the fruitless toil of painters, a figure stained with varied colors, whose appearance arouses yearning in fools, so that they desire the lifeless form of a dead image. Lovers of evil things and fit for such objects of hope are those who either make or desire or worship them.

3. Mathew 5:28

Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2354

Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials

2. Paragraph 2396

Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.

3. Paragraph 2211

The political community has a duty to honor the family, to assist it, and to ensure especially: …- the protection of security and health, especially with respect to dangers like drugs, pornography, alcoholism, etc.

4. Paragraph 2525

Christian purity requires a purification of the social climate. It requires of the communications media that their presentations show concern for respect and restraint. Purity of heart brings freedom from widespread eroticism and avoids entertainment inclined to voyeurism and illusion.

Small Group Questions

1. Do you read books or magazines or watch movies or visit websites that you would not tell your wife about? How about your holy mother in Heaven?

2. What happens when “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” follows you home?

3. Is pornography an issue with you?

4. Have you ever overcome a battle against pornography; if yes, how did you deal with it?

Accountability

1. Rid your home and computer of any pornographic material.

2. Pray a Rosary and/or Chaplet of Divine Mercy for yourself and/or others battling pornography.

Author(s)

Michael Copfer

Included Resources:

  1. “Getting Serious About Pornography”, National Review Online, 3/31/2010: http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/229439/getting-serious-about-pornography/anonymous

· An estimated 40 million people use this drug on a regular basis.

· Neurological data suggest its effects on the brain are strikingly similar to those of synthetic drugs

· Two authorities on the neurochemistry of addiction, Harvey Milkman and Stanley Sunderwirth, claim it is the ability of this drug to influence all three pleasure systems in the brain — arousal, satiation, and fantasy — that makes it “the pièce de résistance among the addictions.”

· According to Dr. Victor Cline, a nationally renowned clinical psychologist who specializes in sexual addiction, pornography addiction is a process that undergoes four phases:

(1) First, addiction, resulting from early and repeated exposure accompanied by masturbation.

(2) Second, escalation, during which the addict requires more frequent porn exposure to achieve the same “highs” and may learn to prefer porn to sexual intercourse.

(3) Third, desensitization, during which the addict views as normal what was once considered repulsive or immoral.

(4) And finally, the acting-out phase, during which the addict runs an increased risk of making the leap from screen to real life.

· A 2004 study published in Social Science Quarterly found that Internet users who had had an extramarital affair were 3.18 times more likely to have used online porn than Internet users who had not had an affair.

· A 2002 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, during which surveyed lawyers claimed that “an obsessive interest in Internet pornography” was a significant factor in 56 percent of their divorce cases the prior year.

· Porn use creates the impression that aberrant sexual practices are more common than they really are, and that promiscuous behavior is normal.

· Susan Fiske, professor of psychology at Princeton University, used MRI scans to analyze the brain activity of men viewing pornography. She found that after viewing porn, men looked at women more as objects than as human beings.

  1. “The Weight of Smut”, Mary Eberstadt, First Things, June/July 2010

http://www.firstthings.com/article/2010/05/the-weight-of-smut

· “sexual obesity”: the widespread gorging on pornographic imagery

· The term sexual obesity comes from Mary Ann Layden, a psychiatrist who runs the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania. She sees the victims of Internet-pornography consumption in her practice, day in and day out.

· Results: Young people who have been exposed to pornography are:

o more likely to have multiple lifetime sexual partners,

o more likely to have had more than one sexual partner in the last three months,

o more likely to have used alcohol or other substances at their last sexual encounter,

o more likely to have scored higher on a “sexual permissiveness” test

o more likely to have tried risky forms of sex

o more likely to engage in forced sex

o more likely to be sexual offenders.

· In 2004, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University reported that 65 percent of boys ages 16 and 17 reported having friends who regularly download Internet pornography

· Economists Kirk Doran and Joseph Price are examining data from the General Social Survey (GSS) to assess the negative impact of pornography on other aspects of marriage. They report that, among individuals who have ever been married, those who say they’ve seen an X-rated movie in the last year are 25 percent more likely to be divorced and 13 percent less likely to identify themselves as “very happy” with life in general.

· See article for more information

  1. “Pornography’s Impact on Marriage & The Family”, by Jill Manning M.S., Presented to Subcommittee US Senate 11/9/2005

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Testimony/Pornographys-Impact-on-Marriage-amp-The-Family

Since the advent of the Internet, the pornography industry has profited from an unprecedented proximity to the home, work and school environments. Consequently, couples, families, and individuals of all ages are being impacted by pornography in new and often devastating ways.
Although many parents work diligently to protect their family from sexually explicit material, research funded by Congress has shown Internet pornography to be “very intrusive.” Additionally, we know that a variety of fraudulent, illegal and unethical practices are used to attract new customers and eroticize attitudes that undermine public health and safety. This profit-driven assault jeopardizes the well-being of our youth and violates the privacy of those who wish not to be exposed.
Leading experts in the field of sexual addictions contend on-line sexual activity is “a hidden public health hazard exploding, in part because very few are recognizing it as such or taking it seriously.”

Research reveals many systemic effects of Internet pornography that are undermining an already vulnerable culture of marriage and family. Even more disturbing is the fact that the first Internet generations have not reached full-maturity, so the upper-limits of this impact have yet to be realized. Furthermore, the numerous negative effects research point to are extremely difficult, if not impossible, for individual citizens or families to combat on their own.

This testimony is not rooted in anecdotal accounts or personal views, but rather in findings from studies published in peer-reviewed research journals. I have submitted a review of this research to the Committee, and request that it be included in the record.

The marital relationship is a logical point of impact to examine because it is the foundational family unit and a sexual union easily destabilized by sexual influences outside the marital contract. Moreover, research indicates the majority of Internet users are married and the majority seeking help for problematic sexual behavior online are married, heterosexual males. The research indicates pornography consumption is associated with the following six trends, among others:

1. Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce,

2. Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction,

3. Infidelity

4. Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal or unsafe practices,

5. Devaluation of monogamy, marriage and child rearing,

6. An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behavior.

These trends reflect a cluster of symptoms that undermine the foundation upon which successful marriages and families are established.

While the marital bond may be the most vulnerable relationship to Internet pornography, children and adolescents are the most vulnerable audience. When a child lives in a home where an adult is consuming pornography, he or she encounters the following four risks:

1. Decreased parental time and attention

2. Increased risk of encountering pornographic material

3. Increased risk of parental separation and divorce and

4. Increased risk of parental job loss and financial strain

When a child or adolescent is directly exposed the following effects have been documented:

1. Lasting negative or traumatic emotional responses,

2. Earlier onset of first sexual intercourse, thereby increasing the risk of STD’s over the lifespan,

3. The belief that superior sexual satisfaction is attainable without having affection for one’s partner, thereby reinforcing the commoditization of sex and the objectification of humans.

4. The belief that being married or having a family are unattractive prospects;

5. Increased risk for developing sexual compulsions and addictive behavior,

6. Increased risk of exposure to incorrect information about human sexuality long before a minor is able to contextualize this information in ways an adult brain could.

7. And, overestimating the prevalence of less common practices (e.g., group sex, bestiality, or sadomasochistic activity).

Because the United States is ranked among the top producers and consumers of pornography globally, the federal government has a unique opportunity to take a lead in addressing this issue and the related harm. This leadership could unfold in a variety of ways. For example, through:

· Educating the public about the risks of pornography consumption,

· Supporting research that examines aspects of Internet pornography currently unknown,

· Allocating resources to enforce laws already in place, and lastly,

· Legally implement technological solutions that separate Internet content, allowing consumers to choose the type of legal content they wish to have access to.

In closing, I am convinced Internet pornography is grooming young generations of Americans in such a way that their chances of enjoying healthy and enduring relationships are handicapped. I hope this committee will carefully consider measures to reduce the harm associated with Internet pornography.

For the full research submitted for the record: http://s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/2010/pdf/ManningTST.pdf

  1. “What’s Wrong with Pornography, by Ross S. Olson MD

http://www.rossolson.org/pornography/whats_wrong_with.html

How is pornography destructive? Sexual images are extremely persistent. Men who started with pornography as young boys often can remember in great detail the images that got them started and continue to be affected by them. But the major danger is that the intensity of the material tends to escalate because after a while the mild stuff is no longer as stimulating. The images become associated with masturbation and it is the nature of orgiastic activity that it produces a desire for repetition.

When sex is kept within the context of marriage, this habit-forming tendency helps cement the commitment and motivate a couple to work out the inevitable problems that go with human relationships. But sexual stimulation with pornography, because it is devoid of human interaction, is intensely selfish and becomes quickly jaded. Thus the fantasies need to become more explicit, more bizarre and more blended with violence to achieve the same level of excitement. Finally, images alone are not enough and the desire to act out the fantasies becomes powerful. Since the focus has been consistently on selfish pleasure and the pictures seen as objects, the transition is sometimes frighteningly easy.

So pornography makes monsters of susceptible people, mostly men who started as boys. Rapists, child molesters and serial killers uniformly are addicted to pornography. To say that some who use pornography do not reach this extreme is beside the point. For some, it “only” makes sexual fulfillment in marriage difficult if not impossible. This is because the patterns are so hard to change and the pornography user finds the mate inferior to his fantasies. There is a parallel here with alcohol. Some people do not have a problem with it, but their use may inadvertently lead others to use, abuse and ultimately be destroyed. With pornography, the danger is so dramatic, why play around with it?

comments: Comments tags: ,

My Career and Me

August 24, 2011 under Syllabus 2011-2012

Summary

How does my career define me? Am I happy with my career? Looking for change or reaffirmation? Do I have the right balance of work & family?

Objective

Who is the same job as they were five years ago? Who will be in the same job in five years from now? There are no more 35 year jobs anymore. We are in a different economy than our father’s. Today’s career is mobile and dynamic.

We all need plans (1, 3 & 5 year plans). We need to be always transitioning to the next phase of our career. Every day, we are constructing our exit ramps. Networking is key in a “small” city like Cincinnati.

As a provider for our family, we have a responsibility to provide through a working career both contingency and growth. However, we have to achieve that with humility and balance.

Bible Readings

1. Jeremiah 29:11-14

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you-oracle of the LORD-plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope. When you call me, and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me—oracle of the LORD and I will change your lot; I will gather you together from all the nations and all the places to which I have banished you-oracle of the LORD-and bring you back to the place from which I have exiled you.

2. Proverbs 24:27

Prepare your outside work, Make it fit for yourself in the field; And afterward build your house.

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraphs 2427-2429

2427 Human work proceeds directly from persons created in the image of God and called to prolong the work of creation by subduing the earth, both with and for one another.210 Hence work is a duty: “If any one will not work, let him not eat.”211 Work honors the Creator’s gifts and the talents received from him. It can also be redemptive. By enduring the hardship of work212 in union with Jesus, the carpenter of Nazareth and the one crucified on Calvary, man collaborates in a certain fashion with the Son of God in his redemptive work. He shows himself to be a disciple of Christ by carrying the cross, daily, in the work he is called to accomplish. Work can be a means of sanctification and a way of animating earthly realities with the Spirit of Christ.

2428 In work, the person exercises and fulfills in part the potential inscribed in his nature. The primordial value of labor stems from man himself, its author and its beneficiary. Work is for man, not man for work.

Everyone should be able to draw from work the means of providing for his life and that of his family, and of serving the human community.

2429 Everyone has the right of economic initiative; everyone should make legitimate use of his talents to contribute to the abundance that will benefit all and to harvest the just fruits of his labor. He should seek to observe regulations issued by legitimate authority for the sake of the common good.

Small Group Questions

1. Have you had a career change in recent years? How did it affect your family?

2. Does your current job align with long term plans?

Recommended Resources

1. “What Color is My Parachute?” by Dick Bolles

2. “Dream Manager” by Matthew Kelly

3. http://www.adultmentor.com

4. Balancing Work and Family
http://umaine.edu/publications/4186e/

Accountability

1. Go through “Dream Manager” activity or similar program.

2. Discuss goals with wife and family.

Author(s)

Walt Moll & Anthony Your

Included Resources

Work-life balance: Tips to reclaim control
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/work-life-balance/WL00056

There was a time when the boundaries between work and home were fairly clear. Today, however, work is likely to invade your personal life — and maintaining work-life balance is no simple task. Still, work-life balance isn’t out of reach. Start by evaluating your relationship to work. Then apply specific strategies to help you strike a healthier balance.

Married to your work? Consider the cost

It can be tempting to rack up hours at work, especially if you’re trying to earn a promotion or manage an ever-increasing workload. Sometimes overtime may even be required. If you’re spending most of your time working, though, your home life will take a hit. Consider the consequences of poor work-life balance:

· Fatigue. When you’re tired, your ability to work productively and think clearly may suffer — which could take a toll on your professional reputation or lead to dangerous or costly mistakes.

· Lost time with friends and loved ones. If you’re working too much, you may miss important family events or milestones. This can leave you feeling left out and may harm relationships with your loved ones. It’s also difficult to nurture friendships if you’re always working.

· Increased expectations. If you regularly work extra hours, you may be given more responsibility. This may lead to only more concerns and challenges.

Strike a better work-life balance

As long as you’re working, juggling the demands of career and personal life will probably be an ongoing challenge. Use these ideas to help you find the work-life balance that’s best for you:

· Track your time. Track everything you do for one week, including work-related and personal activities. Decide what’s necessary and what satisfies you the most. Cut or delegate activities you don’t enjoy or can’t handle — or share your concerns and possible solutions with your employer or others.

· Take advantage of your options. Ask your employer about flex hours, a compressed workweek, job sharing, telecommuting or other scheduling flexibility. The more control you have over your hours, the less stressed you’re likely to be.

· Learn to say no. Whether it’s a co-worker asking you to spearhead an extra project or your child’s teacher asking you to manage the class play, remember that it’s OK to respectfully say no. When you quit doing the things you do only out of guilt or a false sense of obligation, you’ll make more room in your life for the activities that are meaningful to you and bring you joy.

· Leave work at work. With the technology to connect to anyone at any time from virtually anywhere, there may be no boundary between work and home — unless you create it. Make a conscious decision to separate work time from personal time. When you’re with your family, for instance, turn off your cell phone and put away your laptop computer.

· Manage your time. Organize household tasks efficiently, such as running errands in batches or doing a load of laundry every day, rather than saving it all for your day off. Put family events on a weekly family calendar and keep a daily to-do list. Do what needs to be done and let the rest go. Limit time-consuming misunderstandings by communicating clearly and listening carefully. Take notes if necessary.

· Bolster your support system. At work, join forces with co-workers who can cover for you — and vice versa — when family conflicts arise. At home, enlist trusted friends and loved ones to pitch in with child care or household responsibilities when you need to work overtime or travel.

· Nurture yourself. Eat healthy foods, include physical activity in your daily routine and get enough sleep. Set aside time each day for an activity that you enjoy, such as practicing yoga or reading. Better yet, discover activities you can do with your partner, family or friends — such as hiking, dancing or taking cooking classes.

comments: Comments tags: ,

Sharing your Growing Faith with Long Time Friends

August 24, 2011 under Syllabus 2011-2012

Summary

How do you share your blossoming faith with old friends who “knew you when…”? Do you slide back into the old routine when you’re with them or do you proudly proclaim your faith? What if they challenge you? Are you equipped to answer them in a way that will encourage them to consider the faith without repelling them from the Church?

Objective

You can feel your faith growing. You even enjoy discussing faith in the right company such as Church functions, Father’s Team, conversations with people who you know agree with you, and maybe even in arguments with people who are clearly opposed to your beliefs and very easy to disagree with. But how do you integrate faith into your friendships? How about with friends or family who have left the Catholic Church? Growing faith can create a feeling of contradiction when you are placed in situations and with people that used to be familiar and comfortable. Now you may find that some of those situations do not support your faith and what you have grown to believe. Discerning how to use the gifts your faith has brought and how to integrate this into your relationships can be challenging. The objective of this topic is to uncover some useful ways share your faith and draw your friends closer to God.

Bible Readings

1. Mat.4:19

Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men

2. Mk.16:15

Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel

3. Jn.15:16

Ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit (See also Mat.24:14)

4. Isa.6:8

Whom shall I send? Here am I; send me

5. Lk.9:2

(Jesus) sent them to preach…the Kingdom of God

6. Jn.20:21

As My Father hath sent Me, even so send I you

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 905

Lay people also fulfill their prophetic mission by evangelization, “that is, the proclamation of Christ by word and the testimony of life.” For lay people, “this evangelization . . . acquires a specific property and peculiar efficacy because it is accomplished in the ordinary circumstances of the world.”

2. Paragraph 2044

The fidelity of the baptized is a primordial condition for the proclamation of the Gospel and for the Church’s mission in the world. In order that the message of salvation can show the power of its truth and radiance before men, it must be authenticated by the witness of the life of Christians. “The witness of a Christian life and good works done in a supernatural spirit have great power to draw men to the faith and to God.”

Small Group Questions

1. Have people noticed a change in you? Have you had the courage to tell them about you faith? About father’s team, etc.

Recommended Resources

2. http://shop.mycatholicfaith.org/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=122

3. http://www.stpatparish.org/evangelization/practicalways.pdf

4. http://www.aquinasandmore.com/catholic-books/How-Not-To-Share-Your-Faith/sku/1830/affiliate/catholicpage4375/t/3

Accountability

1. Tell at least 2 friends about Father’s team.

Author(s)

Chris Runte & Tony Heekin

comments: Comments tags:

No Regrets – 10 Ways to Make Time for Your Children

August 24, 2011 under Syllabus 2011-2012

Summary

Live every day if it were your last! How do you as a Father balance your faith, family and work in this hurried world, every day? Learn how Father’s just like you are living a daily life of no regrets: making more memories with their family, deepening their faith and coming home from work on time!

Objective

Help the Fathers to understand “How to Live a life of no regrets with your family” by learning how to spend more time with their children and family. It is suggested for the presenting small group, to focus the larger group time by sharing your team’s personal “live a life of no regrets” experiences/examples on how you each have made a “step change” in your life to spend more time with family and your children.

Bible Readings

1. Psalm 112

“His children will be mighty in the land”

2. Romans 8:28

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

Catechism Readings

1. Paragraph 2223

“Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the “material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones.” Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them.”

Small Group Questions

1. Do you regularly come home on time from work to your family and children?

2. Are your children’s birthdays, recitals, soccer games, plays, etc. on your work calendar?

3. Do you schedule breakfast dates with your daughter/son?

Recommended Resources

1. Robert Rogers – http://www.mightyintheland.com

2. Mary Beth Bonacci – Catholic Herald – Living Life with “no regrets” http://www.catholicherald.com/stories/Living-with-no-regrets,12859?content_source=&category_id=13&search_filter=&event_mode=&event_ts_from=&list_type=&order_by=&order_sort=&content_class=&sub_type=stories&town_id=

Accountability

1. This week would be a good time to define “what is quality time with your family?”

2. Have you allowed any person or circumstance at work to rob you of your joy? Why?

3. Have you done your 100% best with your family, faith and job this week?

Author(s)

Reid Rooney / Kevin McDonough

Included Resources

Robert Rogers: 10 ways to live a life with no regrets with your family.

1. Sign-up for some organized activity together-chess club, a sports league, church groups, and so on as your free time activity that way, you can use the structure of the activity to help you spend time with your child.

2. Put birthdays, a recital, soccer games, plays, etc. on your work calendar. Tell co-workers that you wouldn’t miss those events for the world, and ask them to help remind you.

3. Create regular rituals to connect with your kids with phone calls from the office, special “daddy” time when you walk in the door, or other weekly events that keep you in touch.

4. Discuss your priorities with your boss. Be candid with him or her about times when you need to flex your schedule for family events. Make it clear that you are dedicated to doing your best at work, but that family is also very important to you. Suggest your own “win-win” solutions or ask for his ideas to help reach a workable balance.

5. Create a “Next Year’s Vacation” planning session with your children by having them share with your pictures/places of where they want to go and how they want to spend time with Dad on vacation!

6. Create a family devotional time. This is a time set aside during a time where all members of the family are required to be there. Then you as a father take the lead in sharing important things with your family. Read passages in Holy Scripture and pray together; share thoughts on certain historical events (Memorial Day) and what they should mean to us; talk about current events; peer pressure the kids are facing or how to look forward to an uncertain future with confidence.

7. As the Father, make the weekend Saturday or Sunday breakfast and have your kids help out as appropriate. Talk as you all prepare the meal about what was their “favorite thing” that happened in their life during the week.

8. Car Time. When traveling to the next sporting or activity event, instead of listening to the radio, try spending time with your kids by discussing with them: 1) What was the best part of today?; 2) What was your favorite thing that happened to you this week; 3) Tell me about something really cool that you saw today/this week?

9. Have a Breakfast time with Daddy with your children individually. No agenda’s just go out to breakfast and spend time with your child 1 on 1. Do you know their favorite song, favorite teacher, who they think is the coolest kid @ school, who are the coolest parents, etc?

10. Support your company’s “Take your children to work day”. If your company does not have it, consider starting one. Many Cincinnati based companies like P&G, Kroger, and Macy’s have established “Take your children to work” programs.

10 tips to make more time with your Children

Parents and their children are spending less time interacting with each other. As a result, many children are getting less personal love and attention than their parents did. American Demographics reported that parents today spend roughly 40 percent less time with their children than did parents a generation ago. To help families stay connected, below is a list of helpful family time tips. Keep in mind, quantity and quality time is important when choosing activities. So build memories around exciting events by keeping your family time creative and enjoyable. Print out the following tips as daily reminders.

1. Eat together & listen to each other

Most children today don’t know the meaning of a family dinnertime. Yet the communication and unity built during this set-ting is integral to a healthy family life. Sharing a meal together allows the opportunity to talk about each other’s lives. This is a time for parents to listen, as well as to give advice and encouragement. Attentive listening conveys a message that a person is really interested in another. It also imparts a sense of worth and helps develop trust. Therefore, listening is a critical link in successful parenting.

2. Read often

It’s important for parents to read to their children. The latest research indicates that reading to your children cultivates an interest for knowledge and stimulates language development. It also increases their attention spans and helps them become more curious. Look for books that your child would enjoy reading. After reading, ask questions about the content.

3. Do chores together

Part of what goes on in the home is the development of teamwork. Functional family life depends on the contribution of everyone. Assigning chores is the most productive way of teaching responsibility and accountability to your children. Doing chores with your child will help foster good communication skills.

4. Help with schoolwork

A great way to spend quality time with children and light a fire of learning is to help children with their schoolwork. A parent’s eagerness to help will cause a child to become more interested in school thus improving his or her grades. Regular trips to the library for school projects are an inexpensive and enjoyable way to spend time with children. Helping should begin with an understanding that children are responsible for homework. Parents are there to help their child get organized and to encourage them when they get stuck.

5. Start a hobby or project

Choose a fun activity that your child is interested in. Activities like cooking, crafts, fishing or biking will make great hobbies that can open the door to exciting family time. Once a child learns a new recipe or is able to cast a lure accurately, let him or her take the lead with your supervision.

6. Play games

New technology has made video games more prevalent. As a result, many children are spending long hours in front of the TV playing computer programs. Parents should find creative ways to spark an interest in family-oriented contests such as board games or card games. This will give parents additional time to talk and nurture their relationship.

7. Plan a family outing

Sometimes getting out of the house is important. Hop in the family car and go for a drive. Prepare a picnic lunch and visit a local park. Take time to play catch or ride a bike. A stroll in the woods will help parents interact with their children. Also, a visit to the zoo or museum will spark a child’s enthusiasm and lead to lengthy discussions.

8. Encourage athletic activities

It is vital for children to exercise. Sports not only strengthen the body, but also build character and determination. Whether it’s a father pitching a baseball to a son or a mother and daughter nature walking, finding time for athletic events is important for a child’s emotional and physical development. This is a great opportunity for a family to interact.

9. Create a Family Time calendar

Since many parents have hectic schedules, time with children often becomes a low priority whether intended or not. Post a calendar on the refrigerator and have parents and children pencil in special events. Knowing when you’re going to meet may also help you think of creative activities. Commit to keeping this schedule free from interruptions.

10. Pray together & attend a house of worship

Nothing is more special than taking a few minutes each day to pray with a child before bedtime. By explaining the purpose behind prayer, children will learn the importance of faith as the foundation for the family. Also, when parents go to religious services, they instill in their children a reverence for God.

comments: Comments tags:

Thought of the Day – #4000

August 19, 2011 under Uncategorized

Kudos to Bill Keating.  

As you know, many of the Thought of the Day notes I send are passed on from my friend Bill Keating.  Bill started sending them to his children when his first child went away to college as a way to stay in touch.  I got on Bill’s distribution list many years ago and have done the same thing with my children, bride, and friends.  It is remarkable how meaningful a daily touch is to the relationships you have with those you love.  Hope you are passing them on to family and friends as well.

Today, Bill sent out his 4000th Thought of the Day!


"Life is what you make it, always has been, always will be.
Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out."

– Art Linkletter

"Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it."
– Lou Holtz

comments: Comments

Bringing Hope By Giving Back

August 3, 2011 under Announcements

 

One of our own, Tim Miller, has been featured in the current issue of Venue Magazine in article entitled “Bringing Hope By Giving Back”.  

 

Here is an excerpt from the article.

“It is important for me to give back to the community.  I’ve been fortunate enough to work with such wonderful people for 28 years and have been blessed in so many ways that I want to share that,” explains Tim.

He has been married to his wife, Vickie, for twenty-four years and is the father of two teenage children, Jeff and Ali.  He is a member of the Father’s  Team, which is a group based from his parish, Immaculate Heart of Mary, located in Anderson Township.  The group meets every Friday morning at 6:03 a.m. from September to May to share and discuss the issues and difficulties of raising children and being better husbands.  Tim’s dedication to all aspects of his life should be greatly admired and respected.

 

The magazine is available at Joseph Beth Bookstores.

comments: Comments